Lately I’ve been reading a number of blog posts where the blogger voices an opinion on a matter which I fundamentally disagree with for whatever reason.
I realise that everyone has their own opinions on various matters – there is absolutely nothing wrong with this. Variety is the spice of life and all of that and we do learn from differing opinions. This is one of the things that I love about blogging.
The other day I read a post where a blogger who had just come back from overseas noted her observations on how grossly overweight the people were. What she said was true but it was the way that she said it that really got to me. I felt that she was being nasty (and I am very sure that this was not her intention) and very judgemental.
I could have commented and told her that I felt that she was speaking of a subject that she knew nothing about.
I could have told her that people who suffer any form of eating disorder (whether it is anorexia, bulimia, obesity, comfort eating, food addiction etc) are actually in a lot of pain and that there is nothing black and white about a situation like that.
I could have told her that poverty and various factors play a role in our weight gains/losses and that ironically, I gained the most weight in the 7 months that my husband was unemployed because we lived off carbs (pasta/bread/rice dishes etc) because it’s cheap and can stretch into a number of meals.
I could have told her that unless she has actually been fat/overweight/obese, she will NEVER understand. But I didn’t.
My parents taught me that whatever I do in life, whether it is criticising someone or raising my children or expressing my opinion or whatever, it needs to come from a place of love and compassion and understanding and maturity. Using slurs does not come from a place of love. Neither does judging people based on what they look like.
I was tempted to respond and comment on that particular post but I didn’t because there were enough commenters fuelling that fire and I didn’t want to be a part of it.
I must just add here that sometimes commenters are guilty of the very same thing and that they can be just as nasty. I would have left the most beautiful diplomatic comment on that post because that is who I am. I can disagree with someone without being rude and resorting to name-calling and character assassination and the like.
I read another post last week where the blogger in question also voiced her opinion on a matter and in the process I felt that she came across as highly ignorant. If I was any more sensitive, then I might even have seen her as a racist which I actually don’t. I commented on that post and I was very diplomatic about it – this wasn’t difficult at all. The blogger was gracious and even responded to my comment (in the most beautiful, kindest way) which made me respect her even more, even though I fundamentally disagreed with her views and told her as much.
I do understand that people have differing contexts and that generally we blog based on our own context and subjective experiences.
I understand that our opinions are formed based on things like morals, value systems, the way we were raised, media as well as our own realities.
I also understand that people suck sometimes and that they can be ignorant and judgmental.
I know that I have the choice to stop reading a blog if I feel that the blogger and I have nothing more “in common”, so to speak.
And I do understand that we are all going to have differing opinions on various matters. As I said earlier, there is nothing wrong with this.
I just wish that people (when they blog or comment) can realise that it’s often not what they write but the way in which they write it. The beauty of writing a blog post or a comment is that we can edit and delete and edit and delete until the intended tone comes across.
I really wish that bloggers/commenters can actually think sometimes before they press publish. Ask yourself this question: Does what I (as the blogger or commenter) have to say come from a place of love and compassion and understanding and maturity? Am I being straightforward to the point of rudeness? Can the blogger and/or other commenters benefit from what I have to say?
How do you deal with posts where you feel that the blogger is being nasty/judgemental etc.? Do you actually comment? Do you ignore? Do you call the blogger out?