Don’t you just hate it

….when you need a particular word and there isn’t one? Or you just can’t find the right one?

I am looking for a word that describes someone who recommends books. This person is someone who has a pretty good idea of what you will like. This person also reads a lot. Obviously. This person’s recommendations NEVER fail you and you ALWAYS enjoy their recommendations. Do you know what this person is called? A bookie? Ha. I think not. But maybe?

For the purpose of this post, I am going to call this person my “bookie”.  I know it’s not right but anyway. I just can’t think of the right word!  Can you help?

I was thinking about this the other day. I have two “bookies”.  How lucky am I??

My most reliable bookie is definitely CAT. Her recommendations have NEVER failed me, I think because we have VERY similar reading tastes.  I always always ALWAYS love what she recommends.

For Non Fiction I would say Marcia.  She reads A LOT of NF and she blogs about her favourites.  And she’s a finisher, so she even continues to read the books that are terrible and then blogs about them too!  I NEVER finish books that are rubbish. I just put them down and start something new! I don’t spend a lot of money on NF but when I do buy, then it’s most likely going to be something that she recommends.

I also belong to a DIVINE group on FB called Read Any Good Books Lately. Do you know them?  I recommend them highly so DO go and join them. I would link the FB page here but I’m off FB for the moment.

I am not that fond of FB groups but this one is BY FAR my FAVOURITE!

There is a lot of fun banter and there are recommendations for EVERY SINGLE GENRE with honest reviews. For the first time in FOREVER, my reading wish list is OVERFLOWING! My husband (he who buys most of my books) is feeling a bit nervous because of course this affects his bottom line!

How about you? Who’s your bookie? Do you belong to a book club? And do you insist on finishing books that you’re not into?

 Ps..I was invited to join up with a starter book club last year. They just complicated the setup so much. I tried to sell them the same model that we use in our craft group and I suggested simpler (and more organised)  ways of doing things. They  never emailed me back! Which is fine. I wasn’t that keen on them anyway!

Pps…this past weekend  I finished “Me Before You”, my first Jojo Moyes, and I am feeling ALL THE FEELINGS. I NEED to write about it and hopefully my feelings will  settle soon so I can get a blog post out that doesn’t sound overly emotional, because ALL THE FEELINGS are making my words come out VERY incoherently.  I have just started with Jonas Jonasson’s “The hundred year old man who climbed out of the window and disappeared”  and so far I am LOVING it! What are you currently reading?

ppps…my friend Lea emailed me her comment for yesterday’s post. I copied it into the post. Go and read it.  I LOVE IT!

How does one do small talk?

I am an introvert.

I don’t do small talk. The mere idea of small talk makes me anxious. it is ridiculous and it irritates me to hell and back.

It’s for this reason that I rarely go to conferences/networking events. In fact, I have already left parties because of it. I would rather hog the cake table than to do small talk.  Or take endless photos and instagram until the cows come home. Or, depending on my mood, I simply observe the interactions around me.

I find that it does help if you know someone at an event that you’re attending.  It also helps to have some champagne or a bit of wine beforehand for the sole purpose of loosening up a bit.

But. In the absence of these things (knowing someone or having alcohol)  I DIE at the small talk with strangers.

Sometimes I need to go to a function that I can’t get out of. A function where they DO NOT serve alcohol.  A function where I don’t know ANYONE. It’s VERY rude to bond with your phone all night at a function where small talk is mandatory.  I lost my patience recently (blog post to follow) and this makes it even worse, because now I have even less time and energy for small talk.

I need to know how to manage at times like this. HOW does one do small talk? How do you become someone you’re not?

Should I make a list of topics? Should I single out one person (in a non-stalkerish way of course!) and make small talk with that one person all night?

Are you good at small talk? Do you make small talk with various people in one night? Do you single out one person to small talk with?  How do you manage? Can you share some tips?


I must confess

I Must Confess

I am MOST happy when..

  1. I have been eating  properly and getting  enough sleep. I don’t know about you but I am a VERY unhappy person if I’m hungry and tired.
  1. I do exercise that I LOVE. I’ve learned that doing things that I enjoy doesn’t make it feel like exercise. So I swim. And I yoga. And I brisk walk. And I do gentle nature walks too. But not hiking.
  2. I go on dates. With my Boyfriend. With my Girlfriends. With my Parents. With my Siblings. With my Kids. I DO love me some one-on-one special time.


  1. I am writing and the words just flow and flow and flow.


  1. There is ORDER within my environment, because a messy and unordered environment is a trigger for anxiety and this causes TREMENDOUS unhappiness.


  1. When I take my very first sip of the first coffee of the day and it tastes JUST RIGHT.


  1. When I’m in my happy place: the beach. I swim. Or I take long walks. Or I stare at the magnificence in front of me. Also. I take photos.


  1. When I’m in a bookshop and I can read ALL DAY.


  1. When I’m in a place where I can people-watch. I do this ALL DAY LONG. I make up stories about them too!


  1. When I’m in my bed. It’s a place where I knit, watch series, snuggle with all the males in my home and of course, where I do most of my reading.



And you? When are you at your happiest?  



So date night/day is happening this weekend

….and it’s my turn to organise it.  To be honest, I am out of ideas.

It’s our first date for 2015 and I want us to start it off with a BANG. Both literally and figuratively. 

In the year of MOVE, I would like my Boyfriend and I to NOT do stuff that involves sitting around for long periods.   I don’t want our dates this year to be a series of predictable, monotonous, sedentary activities. I  DO want us to do stuff that will force us to MOVE AROUND.

Apparently gym is the new date night. But not for me because I don’t do gym.  Ugh. All those germs! 

I suppose we could hike – he likes hiking.  A LOT. But I’m not a fan of that.

We could even go swimming (I LOVE that) but believe it or not, my BF is not a fan of beaches or swimming. Sigh. He’ll swim if he REALLY feels like it. Or if I FORCE him to. And then he does end up enjoying it!

So these are some ideas floating through my head:

Breakfast, followed by a walk on the Promenade. I’m bored already. Sigh.


Breakfast at a café in Sea Point. Then we hire two bicycles and go and ride for a bit.  I actually think he might go for this.  He likes to cycle and I haven’t been on a bike in YEARS so am kind of excited to do this again.


Dinner and dancing. Mmmm….contrary to what you might have heard, this is an expensive thing to do in Cape Town, and although we LOVE live music, we’re not really dancing types unless we’ve had a few shooters.


A swim at the indoor pool followed by a decent breakfast/brunch.  Cheapest date EVER.


A beach picnic followed by a long, long, long walk. Also a fairly cheap date.


We could do a brunch and a photo walk. Maybe at Bo Kaap.  I’m very open to this too and I think he’ll definitely be keen. Also a cheap date.

So tell me this:

When last did you have a date with your Love? What did you do on said date?

Can you suggest some date ideas that involve me getting to MOVE??

Also.  Can I suggest that you go on a date with your love ASAP if you haven’t done so in 2015 yet???


Secrets of Adulthood #2

Remember I started out with this last year? Here’s a link to my first one.

Secret Of Adulthood #2 came to me over the past few days while I observed some rather awful interesting conversations and very rude different opinions on SM and in my personal  life.  Basically, people often don’t think before they speak and it can cause A WHOLE LOT of ugly.

Anyway. Secret of Adulthood #2:

Just because you CAN doesn’t mean you SHOULD.

Let me expand on that statement:

Just because you CAN say something about a situation or in response to a person or a situation, doesn’t mean you SHOULD.

Just because you CAN do something (whether it is a good or a bad thing) doesn’t mean you SHOULD.

Just because you CAN eat something (ALL the junk food and the sugar) doesn’t mean you SHOULD.

Just because you CAN wear something (mutton/lamb anyone?) doesn’t mean you SHOULD.

Just because you CAN buy something(expensive or not), doesn’t mean you SHOULD.

Now granted, there are times when one needs to respond to something or do something or buy something or eat something that isn’t necessarily good for you, but I think that the key is to exercise wisdom and judgement.

What do you think?

Are you an “I-can-and-therefore-I-will” type person? Or are you a “l-can-but-let-me-first-think-about-it-before-I-do-xyz-or-abc” type person.

Ps…I am NOT perfect. I mess this up A LOT.  But I am very consciously trying to remain aware of why I am saying or doing things and whether it is necessary or not.


#2. Things that need to GO in 2015: SUGAR.

Giving up carbs (for me) is/was actually very easy. As much as I LOVE my bread and other starchy carbs, I don’t miss them if they’re not around.

However. Sugar? Sugar is my nemesis.

Sugar is my crack and I am embarrassed to say that this is one pipe that I am BATTLING to move on from.

I never considered myself  a sugar addict.

I don’t buy packets of sweets. I eat chocolate when I crave it at that time of the month. I rarely order dessert in a restaurant. When I go to a party I am more likely to hang out at the crackers and chips  and crunchy stuff  table than at the cupcake table.

Then I consciously tried to quit sugar. I BATTLED. I still do.

Because even though I don’t actively go out looking for sugar, it’s EVERYWHERE. In my tea. In my coffee. In my juice. In my balsamic vinegar and other salad dressings. In my cider. In my yoghurt. In my wine! In my fruit. Basically, sugar has taken over my life because it’s in nearly ALL THE THINGS!

I need to stop it. Completely.

I have tried the “slowly-wean-yourself-off-it” approach, but that doesn’t really work for me, so I’m going to have to go cold turkey.

I am VERY afraid though.

I am afraid of withdrawal. I HATE headaches. I hate feeling sluggish and lethargic and drained and tired and weepy and generally awful.  I’m going to need to take a day or two off work to sleep it off – I can’t function at the office if I am going through withdrawal.

Like any self-respecting addict, I have attempted to quit before, so I know exactly what to expect.  This time, I am doing a bit of research and trying to find things that can make this transition a bit easier on me.  I read online that when I’m in withdrawal I need to increase my salt intake and a good way to do this is to sip on bone broth throughout the day.

So this weekend I am going to make bone broth. Because next week I’m giving up sugar for good. It’s time to get this pesky, sneaky addiction under control.

Are you addicted to sugar? Have you tried to give up sugar before? How did you cope with the withdrawals? Do you have any tips to share?



#1 – Things that need to GO in 2015: My alarm clock

I am finally ready to face 2015 (better late than never!) and have written up a few posts about some things that MUST go during 2015.

So.  Thing 1 = My alarm clock.

I HATE HATE HATE  my alarm clock. I hate it with a passion.

That NOISE ruins my entire morning and it  simply doesn’t feel normal (for me) to wake up to loud noises.

The noise gives me a HUGE fright.  My heart starts to pound. My breaths become shorter.

I feel anxious because the noise reminds me that I’m not done sleeping yet.

I feel anxious because I keep wondering how I am going to function for the day if I am still tired when I wake up?

I feel anxious because I am reminded that my body clock is completely out of sync, because how is it that even after 8 hours of sleep most nights I can’t wake up naturally?

So in 2015, I want to wake up naturally. On time. Without any external help. Especially noisy external help.

To be honest, I have no idea where to even start with this process. Right now I am googling a lot and the words “circadian rhythms” are becoming part of my vocabulary.

How about you? Are you fond of using noisy devices to help you wake up?  Do I have any readers who DO NOT wake up using an alarm clock? How do you get that right?

So far I am working on stopping the afternoon naps over the weekends because that seems to completely throw my sleep cycle.

Do you have any ideas on how I can learn to wake up naturally AND on time every single day?

Ps…please don’t tell me to go to bed earlier.  I already know that one.



Staycations are not always fun.

I speak for myself here but I don’t find CT a pleasant place to be over the festive season.

It’s VERY, VERY crowded.

It’s WAY too hot.

The traffic to and from beaches and all the fun places that I usually enjoy going to is a complete nightmare.

I end up paying A LOT of money to go to places that are (a) off the public transport routes and  (b) exclusive enough so that the crowds don’t all pitch.

The only way I can make it work is to do things (beach/shopping/other outings) VERY early in the morning or VERY late in the evening. I do this for my own sanity and to accommodate all our visitors. Btw..I am happy that we get so many visitors – they are FANTASTIC for the economy. Believe me when I say that it’s really not you – it’s ME.

We mostly go out of CT for a couple of days before Christmas, but in 2014 I did not have my act together. This was due to various factors –  lack of money/being disorganised/being too stressed to think so far ahead etc etc and we ended up having a staycation.

It really wasn’t a lot of fun and for the first time in my life I found myself counting the days to go to work.

I have decided that I will NEVER EVER be in CT during the festive season again. I honestly don’t feel like I’ve had a holiday and I’m kind of (actually VERY) disappointed.

I did a bit of a “post-mortem” and I figured out why I didn’t particularly enjoy this past holiday.

  1. Most of it was due to the reasons that  I already mentioned eg crowds, heat etc.
  2. My kids were incredibly demanding and disobedient. They lost their ears and there was A LOT of disciplinary action happening in our house. Also. They were MESSY ALL THE TIME. I am fairly easy-going and allow a lot of free play and messiness but this time I just felt that they were too much! It felt like I was cooking and cleaning ALL THE TIME.
  3. My DH was sick for most of the holidays. Please try to deal with manflu and naughty kids in the heat and then tell me how you managed? I felt like a single parent with VERY greedy/naughty/messy/loud kids.
  4. I over-committed with socialising. I never ever schedule friend dates during December, unless I have friends visiting from far. This time around (and I think it’s because I figured I had lots of time because I was home) I had MANY friend dates, and as much as I loved and enjoyed them, I felt like I was just too busy ALL THE TIME. In the end I took ONE DAY just to have quiet time to breathe deeply and think.
  5. I went off my happy pills and this coincided with PMS –  I was  stabby and grinchy at the same time.****

That said, I LOVED Christmas – I think those jager bombs that I had with my cousins fixed me up good and proper. I enjoyed my NYE. I enjoyed a date or two with my DH (when he was not so sick anymore). I enjoyed spending time with family. I enjoyed small amounts of one-on-one time with each kid.  I enjoyed going to the beach when I could. I enjoyed catching up with reading. I enjoyed all those naps. I enjoyed catching up with friends.

BUT. I have decided that I’m never ever NOT going away in December again. Which means that I need to get my act together and SAVE some actual money for a holiday – we don’t get end-of-year bonuses – and if I want something decent, then I need to start with this EARLY in the year.  I am currently trying to figure out the best way to do this, but in the meantime, I need you (if possible) to give me a bit of feedback:

Do you have something like a “holiday savings fund”?

Do you use timeshare? If so, how’s that working for you? Is it worth it?

How was your December holiday? What’s your FAVOURITE December holiday destination?

****I am off my meds because they are making me VERY FAT.  There is a plan in place and I have the ball rolling. I will blog about it more in due course.




MOVE up.

MOVE  on.

MOVE  forward.

MOVE physically.

MOVE mentally.

MOVE spiritually.

If necessary and if it works as part of the bigger picture, then MOVE laterally.

MOVE TOWARDS the things that make me feel happy and alive and fulfilled and content.

MOVE AWAY from the things that make me unhappy, the things that mess with my peace, the things that steal my joy.  MOVE away from people who make me unhappy, the people who are not into me, the people who don’t respect my boundaries, the people who bring drama into my life.

MOVE. Evolve. Improve. Adventure. Decide. Proceed.  Learn. Progress. Advance. Pass.  Shift. Switch. MOVE.


My word for 2015 is MOVE.

I am excited to the point of giddiness about the MOVEMENT that will take place in my life this year and I just know that it’s going to be HUGE!

What’s your word for 2015? Share in the comments or write a post and link up over here.

2014: Things I learned about FEARLESS living

My word for 2014 was FEARLESS. I don’t quite know what I expected when I decided to live a year of FEARLESSNESS. I think in my mind I was all “I am lion, hear me roar”.

But, in reality it simply doesn’t/didn’t work that way. Well, not for me.

Because in real life, everyone is afraid of stuff. In real life, FEARLESS people aren’t actually without fear – I think that they lean more towards being courageous. They step out of comfort zones (even if it means making a fool of themselves), they confront situations that make them feel uncomfortable (even if conflict is something that they avoid like the plague) and they kind of acknowledge that this is crap. They rage and cry and they scream. THEN they deal with it.

I learned three BIG things in my year of being FEARLESS.

  1. I mentioned this in my previous post, but the ability to live FEARLESSLY (for me) was directly related to my levels of happiness. When I was happy and content within in my life and emotional space, being FEARLESS came naturally.  If I didn’t like something I said so. If something made me unhappy I took a deep breath, thought about it and took steps to change it. Setting boundaries was easy and saying NO to things that didn’t serve me felt like the most natural thing in the world.  I think that if you’re happy, you are naturally more dynamic and confident and THIS is what makes all the difference, because when I am in a state of happiness then I am NOT afraid to make a fool of myself and and and. However, when things in my life were awful, living a FEARLESS life became another thing that caused me tremendous anxiety. So, in other words – happiness is what I need to strive towards and pesky things like being fearful on a regular basis just won’t even feature!
  2. The best way to live a FEARLESS life (again, this is my experience) is to make space for the fear. Speak to it.  Shout at it. Curse it if you must. Treat it as part of the family. I wrote MANY letters like this to FEAR and I have to say that (for me) this was the BEST way to acknowledge and deal with it. Some of it I can’t and won’t ever publish because of the deeply personal nature of it. Others I can’t publish because I think you would all assume that I am cuckoo and need to be admitted to the Crescent Clinic.
  3. I need to work A LOT harder at reframing my thoughts. I am always expecting the WORST case scenario and this has a direct effect on my levels of fear and anxiety. This is something I need to work hard at in 2015.

All that said,  I am happy to put 2014 to bed. It wasn’t my best year ever and yet, although there were awful parts to it, I can’t truly say that it was my worst year.

Was 2014 a good year for you?  Can you name one BRILLIANT thing and one TERRIBLE thing about 2014?