Words of Affirmation is one of my primary love languages.
Do you know what that means? It means that I feel most loved when you verbally affirm me. It means that encouragement goes a long way and it means that words mean way more to me than the average person. You can quite literally build me or break me with your words or even your lack of words.
Do you know how much that sucks?
It means that I take it quite personally when I’m not affirmed, it means that your words (good or bad) will have more of an effect on me and it means that I quite literally feel unloved at times when I don’t hear the words of affirmation that I need to hear.
It means that I am VERY self-critical. It means that I over-think and over- analyse things to the point of driving myself nuts – because obviously I will ponder your words for a long time. It means that I continue to annoy myself (and others) if I don’t get affirmation in the way that I need it.
Honestly? I wish I could be like my DH. He absolutely could not care less if people affirm him or not. He affirms himself. He sets his own standard and measures his own performance. He doesn’t need anyone else to do this for him. HE knows his worth and doesn’t need others to remind him of this.
I am deeply envious at how unaffected he is by the lack of affirmation in some areas of his life. I regularly affirm and encourage him (it comes very naturally for me to do this with him and other people) but even if for some reason I don’t do this then it really is fine and he remains unaffected.
Mostly I compensate for the lack of affirmation in my life and I find that the best way to do this is to affirm others some more. But other times like today I really feel the lack of affirmation and it sucks.
Granted, it could be that I’m PMS’ing and feel somewhat oversensitive.
I wonder if I can learn to have Gifts or something else as my primary love language because really, this just seems so much less complicated. Do you think that this is possible? Could I learn to have another love language if the one that I have has the potential to annoy me and others?
What is your Love Language?
Is your love tank full at this moment?
Do you sometimes wish you could rather have a different one? I know that this probably makes me odd. Rather don’t tell me that today. Please.
Ps…if you don’t know your Love Language you can take the test here: