Tag Archives: stepping out of comfort zone

Friendship Friday: Friends and (jumping) dogs

So you all know that I am not really a dog person. I don’t hate them. I just don’t love them that much. I am not an animal person. Period.

I don’t easily visit people who have dogs unless I know that the dogs are really well-behaved. I understand that dogs are playful and might come up to me to say “hello”, so when I say well-behaved I mean that they won’t jump on me or drool on me or go for my crotch or bite my ankles or whatever.

Now one of my very best friends has a dog. Actually he now has two dogs.

Dog 2 is LOVELY.  He’s had her for about 3 months and she’s very sweet and extremely  well behaved for a puppy.  I make a point of acknowledging her when I visit because she is just sooooo sweet. She doesn’t jump on me when I walk into the house or bite my ankles or anything like that. She’s a proper lady and I actually really like her. A LOT. Enough to babysit her if I need to – not that I would offer my services or anything. If my friend is in a fix then I will watch the puppy for a few hours. That’s all.  It is THIS type of puppy that can turn ANY non-dog person (like me) into a proper  dog person.

Dog1 is the problem. He is big. And boisterous. And he jumps on me when I enter the house. When my friend serves me tea or wine then he tries to drink it i.e. lick it out of the cup/glass. He even eats my biscuit off the side plate at that moment when I’m not looking!

I love my friend and enjoy spending time with him and we often friend date by taking the dogs for a walk and having coffee in the park while the dogs run around. Btw this is an AWESOME way to friend date. Fresh air, minimal cost and LOTS of talking. Only thing missing is me taking pics of the sights and playful animals. But, that will come in time.

Dog1 really irritates me.  He sits on the back seat and will lick (and drool on) my bare shoulder  or my neck! – it takes an incredible amount of  self-control for me not to react to this – I have to Ujayi breathe my way through it otherwise I really won’t be able to cope.  When I have something in my hand (even a magazine!) then Dog1 will try to GET it away from me. Like with his mouth.  Yes, he actually wants to bite stuff out of my hand. I don’t know WHAT would make him think that I’m playing that kind of game with him.

He even goes for my crotch! And when I am sitting and doing nothing then he wants to continue to jump on me! I then tell my friend to PLEASE tell his dog to EFF OFF! (I honestly don’t have a nicer way of saying it, because by the time I get to this point then I am slowly losing it and crossing over!) and he calls the dog but then doesn’t follow through with it. I am really stepping out of my comfort zone and putting up with A LOT here.

My friend told me to acknowledge the dog when I visit because maybe this was all that this was about. Maybe the dog has an affirmation thing (Seriously people. My friend even says that the dog has a love language. Do you see why I am losing it?) and if I acknowledge him then he will leave me alone.  I really do try.  I look at the dog and say: ….”hello (insert dog’s name)”. My friend then said that I must also touch the dog when I greet him.  I even do this despite the fact that I don’t touch animals!

I told my friend that I’m not going to be visiting him until this dog stops jumping on me. My friend thinks that I am being very unreasonable because according to the Behavioural Dog Expert Drs, Dog 1 is still learning to integrate.

Hello! Dog 1 is 15  months old already and sees a lot of people – he is DEFINITELY not sheltered (i.e. staying in the house all day) and my friend is VERY good with seeing that he gets walked and exercised.

My friend says that that I am one of the few visitors that he gets and that Dog 1 doesn’t behave like that with anyone else (except him) which to him is a sign that Dog 1 apparently LOVES me and is very comfortable with me. I’m REALLY not convinced.

My friend told me that I should actually turn my body around when the Dog1 does the jumping thing so that he can know that it’s unacceptable. I asked him whether he had tried to do this. He said no. So I told him that he needed to practice the turning around thing with Dog 1 so that the dog could understand it and then, in two weeks I would visit him and assess if I would EVER be going to his house again.

OBVIOUSLY my friend thinks that I am being sooooo unreasonable. He even compared the dog with my kids and asked me how I would feel if he refused to visit me because of my kids! Ugh. He doesn’t get it. I told him that we can’t compare the two situations and actually if my kids annoyed him then I would understand him not visiting because, quite frankly, they annoy me too so I am more than happy to socialise outside of my home away from them.

A few weeks ago I visited my friend Cams who also has dogs. The very first time I visited her the dog jumped on me. I didn’t mind it all that much, I figured that it was the first encounter between me and the dog and that it was to be expected. When I went the next time the dog DID NOT jump on me. And a few hours after that, her friend Renata brought me a piece of paper to wave at the dog in case he decided to perform around me because she was about to feed him. I love love LOVE that there was so much consideration and respect for my feelings.

But now, over to you:

Am I being unreasonable to expect the dog to NOT jump on me ALL THE TIME? Goodness me, SHOULD this dog STILL be jumping on me AFTER MORE THAN A YEAR?  Multiple times in one visit? Every single time he sees me?  That doesn’t feel right to me. I visit my friend on about 3 times a month on average.

Am I being unreasonable to tell my friend that I won’t visit until he teaches his dog to stop doing this? Even though I really have stepped out of my comfort zone with here?

Have you ever had an animal come between you and a friend?

Would you ever visit a friend who has a “different” kind of animal, like maybe a snake? Because I probably would. As long as it is locked up and out of sight or whatever.

Would YOU step completely out of your comfort zone the way I have in order to maintain a friendship? Because I am starting to think that I have allowed too much here.

Ps…my friend and I spoke about this earlier this week. He is working something out with the dog so I can NOT feel erm upset and leave his place all frazzled.

Pps…I know that many of my readers are dog people. This post is absolutely not meant to offend you. Honestly. I really am an each to his own kind of girl and so if dogs are your thing then I honestly don’t have a problem with that. I am simply not a dog person and you know, despite this, I knitted a scarf for Dog1 on his birthday a few months ago similar to this one.