…..but she wouldn’t understand or maybe she just didn’t want to. Could it be that she was just soooo caught up in her pre-conceived notions about the subject that there was NOTHING that I could say that would even make her think differently?
The conversation was about antidepressants.
She said something to the effect that she would NEVER go on “stuff” like that. STUFF like that. Almost like it’s Tik or Heroin.
She said that she WANTED to FEEL.
I told her that actually, AD’s don’t remove your feelings. If they were doing that, then you needed to go back to your Dr for a tweak or a change of medication.
I told her that one DOES still feel. One never stops feeling. One still gets sad and teary say, when there are sad situations or when ones feelings get hurt.
One still got tremendous joy and could belly laugh and giggle and guffaw.
One could still feel indifference. One could still feel despair. One could still feel EVERYTHING. Just a slightly less intense version thereof. All that the AD’s do is to take the edge off so that those feelings don’t impact your life to the point where you fall apart at the seams.
You just manage those emotions better. You don’t cry for 5 hours straight because you were moved by a TV advert. You don’t lock yourself up in your room for days because someone at work said something hurtful.
You are able to logically look at a situation. You are able to actually step “outside” of a situation and rationalise it. Analyse it. Decide if it was a battle worth fighting. Decide if you actually, really wanted to fight it.
You are not on a heady, druggy trip à la Trainspotting. You are not in a world of your own à la Brittany S Pears.
You cannot become an addict and will not go through “withdrawal” or “cold turkey” when going off them.
Do I think that sometimes Dr’s are too quick to prescribe them? YES.
Do I believe that some people need them more than other people? YES.
Do I believe that they are effective as PART OF a holistic treatment plan which includes exercise, enough rest, therapy and a good diet? ABSOLUTELY.
Without me going into the science of it all, this is what it boils down to FOR ME:
My AD’s make a MASSIVE contribution towards me having a clear, focussed mind which, in turn has further spin-offs.
I am infinitely more organised and less scatterbrained which in turn takes care of overwhelm and anxiety and feelings of not being in control of my life.
My senses are heightened and I actually SEE the leaves on the tree. Not just the tree. I actually SEE the details. The shapes. The colours.
It’s like waking up after a long sleep. Everything is fresher. The air is more crisp.
My AD’s essentially help me to be a BETTER version of myself.
I really like (and love) myself and others a lot more when I am on them.
I feel more “connected” to the world at large and NOT disconnected.
I feel what it must feel like to feel “NORMAL”. Nothing more. Nothing less.
I wish that I didn’t need them. Apparently I do.
And I really wish that people would tone down a bit on the ignorance. It gets a bit old after a while…
