It’s been a while.
I haven’t been reading blogs or commenting on posts. Actually, I haven’t really been on my computer much – I haven’t really gone online with my phone either. If you know anything about me then you will know that this is an indication that my life is not peaceful at the moment. Usually when I’m in this place where my life noise is too loud, then the internet has to be the first thing to go.
I have been really good with avoidance behaviour. Actually I have been EXCELLENT with avoidance behaviour. During summer the best avoidance behaviour = beach swims. During winter the best avoidance behaviour = watching series, knitting, drinking copious amounts of red wine and sleeping A LOT. Also eating lots of carbs.
Truthfully. I feel like I need a holiday. I know that it’s very early in the year to need a holiday. But. I need a holiday. I am researching and trying to arrange an el-cheapo weekend away as I type this.
Fact is, I have been living off my adrenaline reserves since 24 December 2013 when my car broke. Then there was the whole of January. If it’s not one thing then it’s the next thing. My life is getting sorted out (this is the only good thing about all the drama) but the off-the-charts anxiety in between the crap just doesn’t help. If I add the school stuff, the family drama, the work stress and the general feelings of meh and lack of control, then I basically land up with a huge pot of stabbiness combined with a side serving of “WTF just happened”.
This past weekend my DH said something so simple and yet so profound. I cannot think why I don’t live my life according to this little gem. Why am I complicating my life? Could it be a FEELER thing?
He (meaning my DH) said:” Your peace is my peace. If there is ANYTHING that interferes with or messes with our peace, then that thing needs to Fuck Off”. Is that not the most sensible thing EVER?
Then he spoke to me in my love language. He said” Let us make a list of things that are interfering with our peace. We could call it our “fuck-off” list.”
Right there and then, I fell more in love with this man. HE knows the value of a perfectly timed f-word. AND he actually suggested that we make a list! That’s almost equivalent to telling me that I am the most beautiful woman in the world/that I have an unlimited budget to shop at Typo/Merrypack/The knitting shop. So we made a list.
And right now we are actively working TOGETHER on eliminating the crap. One thing at a time. I woke up feeling better. There is a semblance of control. There is support. My partner gets me. I see my pill Dr next week.
Tell me this:
What situation is currently messing with your peace? Who is raining on your parade? Are you taking steps to eliminate things that are messing with your peace? What’s your process for this? Also. What’s your favourite avoidance behaviour?