Hello May Day!

• I actually planned a pyjama day for today. Alas, a friend called me up and so after a quick errand this morning, I ended up having an impromptu friend date. We went for a long, long walk followed by coffee and cake. It was glorious!  I then got us some fish and chips for dinner and right now I am about to go to bed – my kids have been there for about 2 hours already so I really feel like I am  WINNING at this moment! What did you get up to on this beautiful May Day?

• MIL has been discharged and we are breathing a sigh of relief. She’s looking MUCH better than she looked even before her stroke and I think that this is partly due to those ADs that I asked her Dr to consider prescribing.  She has her fighting spirit back and when we fetched her this morning she told me that she feels more like herself than she has felt in FOREVER!  Do you know how happy it makes me to hear this?  We are hoping that she will once and for all get her act together and take her health seriously. It is SUPER draining to have a sick parent and in many ways, it is MUCH worse than having a sick kid.

• Child2 is going to be going to this school that I don’t want him to go to for two weeks of observation. I didn’t really want to disrupt his life (and mine for that matter – the logistics are a bit of a nightmare because they start late and have no aftercare) and quite frankly, I don’t even want to entertain the idea of putting him in that school. However, I do need to make an informed decision about his future and this is the only way to do it. It’s a free assessment and we’ll get reports afterwards which will help his current school (where I plan to let him stay up to grade 3 AT LEAST) in their programme with him, and it will give me a good idea of where he is at. I am trying to prepare him but either he doesn’t understand or is choosing to ignore me. We start there on 20  May.

• We have decided to leave Child1 where he is for High School. It’s just easier. His new teacher (the current one is going on maternity leave) also starts on 20 May i.e. the same day that Child2 starts with the 2-week assessment so I am preparing for fun times and out-of-sorts behaviours due to changes in routines etc. I should stock up on Rescue ASAP. For ALL OF US.

That’s all I can think of right now so I am signing off to get into bed with Deon Meyer.

Have a great evening.

xx

 

Ve vont to be alone!

So my Boyfriend and I are DYING for some timeout from our kids. We LOVE having alone time. In fact, we crave it and feel ourselves starting to go a bit nuts (not in a good way) if we don’t have it or if we are not having enough of it.

It doesn’t even have to be a movie or a restaurant or anything that requires money to be spent.

Quite honestly we are happy to go sit in our car and watch the waves at the beach. We just want some time alone sans kids. Time to let our hair down and breathe a bit.

The problem is our kids. They need to be watched. And we no longer have a babysitter.

My DH and I have ALWAYS been lucky to have MIL as our permanent babysitter. We love going out and so this has been a godsend. She honestly had no issues doing it – she LOVED doing it for us. Our kids would sleepover during the holidays and whenever we went out at night, and I rarely needed to be off work when they were sick because I used to just drop them at her place.

Now that she’s ill, we obviously can’t expect that from her. But we have no one else. My parents do a lot for me and are a tremendous source of support in ways that MIL can’t be, but having said that, they don’t babysit. Period.  They are an active couple and are constantly on the move. My sister may do it but she lives up-country (in the Northern Suburbs) which poses some logistical issues, my SIL would probably do it but she and her husband are also constantly on the move.

Which means that we have NO ONE. Which is a bit of a problem. We have not had a single going-out date since February and the occasional couch date is not enough – we NEED to get out of our house. As awesome as couches are, fresh air or anything that takes us OUT of our four walls is ALWAYS better.

Child1 says that he has no issues babysitting his brother. Apparently he is 12 and doesn’t even need someone to watch him. He even told me exactly what he would do and how to make Child2 happy and comfortable. I am ABSOLUTELY NOT comfortable with leaving them alone and I don’t think that Child1 is even close to ready to stay alone AND look after his brother. I would not be able to relax and enjoy myself at all.

So while I make some lists about WHO I can ask, tell me this:

Do you and your partner have regular dates?

Do you have a regular babysitter or do you generally struggle to find babysitters?

Who is your babysitter and how did you find them? Do you use a professional service?

Btw…I realised that it was just way too easy for us to leave our kids with MIL. During these last few weeks of her illness we have been FORCED to take them with wherever we go and it has been absolutely fine. In fact, I would go as far as saying that it has been awesome and that they are really cool to hang out with. Child2 has surprised us and has mostly coped really well, but we DO still take our cues from him and leave whenever we need to or when things start to get too much for him.  Despite this, my Boyfriend and I STILL need some alone time in order to preserve our relationship not only with one another but also with them.

Mixed-up sweet bags and the week ahead

My weekend was a kind of like a mixed-bag of sweets.

Some of the sweets were delicious and chocolatey and gooey, like those ones that you want to eat forever and ever. Other sweets in the weekend bag were those sour hard-boiled ones that just won’t dissolve no matter how much you suck on them! The ones that burn your mouth and your nose and your eyes and just burn burn burn. I often wonder about those sweets. Why are they called sweets if they are bitter and sour and not actually  sweet?

Friday evening we had a family meeting. My in-laws got together to discuss the way forward with MIL. It was a bit painful for my poor DH (I felt bad for him) but he heard what he needed to hear and he took it in his stride.

My Saturday was lovely – I spent it with some divine women, and in the evening,  my DH, the kids and I all crawled into our big bed (nice and early) with our books and a few snacks.

My Sunday was quite draining, mainly because I spent it with my in-laws. I guess that’s why it was draining. My DH and I finished a bottle of wine when we got home. We were drowning our sorrows and celebrating our progress at the same time. Kind of a happysad situation.

BUT.  At least we made progress with MIL, and all that we can do now is to maintain the boundaries that have been set (which we will do) and take it from there.

I have learned this weekend that old people are damn hard work. And that if I should ever be in a situation where I need to remarry (goodness me, I really hope NOT), then I will make sure that I stay at least 1500km away from my in-laws.

My DH and I  (over our bottle of wine last night) actually googled  retirement villages for the two of us because we really cannot see ourselves draining our kids. So far, this is our favourite one – it’s right by the beach. I wonder if they have a waiting list that we can put ourselves on?

Anyway. I am looking forward. And upwards. I feel strangely positive and even upbeat. And alive. Yes, I know that sounds very weird.

And so this week, I have some things planned that I really need to finish, which is good. Distractions are good sometimes.  This is what I have planned:

• Project Assistance for Child1 – project due on Friday – the written part is all done, we want to finish the practical part by Wednesday latest.
• Touch base with Child2’s teacher – she needs to give me certain feedback in order for me to make a decision – I am seeing her on Wednesday.
• Check what clothing my kids have for winter and make lists of any winter clothing that I may need to buy for them – I hope to do this on Thursday.
• Clean my desk that is currently looking like a pigsty – I am doing this right now!
• Return ALL paper books to shelf. There are a number of them ALL OVER MY HOUSE at the moment. I have no idea how that happens – I rarely read paper books these days – this is a job for tomorrow evening,  although I’ve started to make Child2 collect the books that are not on the shelf. He is LOVING this little job at the moment.

How are you doing?

Did you have a good weekend?

How are relations with your in-laws at the moment?

When last did you have a happysad situation?

What’s on your to-do list this week?

Easter Weekend = Happiness

Well, hello there.  Feels like it has been forever since I blogged!

I have had such a divine weekend with my little family. We absolutely needed this time together after the past few hectic weeks.

I have said before that the Easter weekend is my most favourite holiday – it still is, for more reasons than one. I think I may like it more than Christmas time – there isn’t that build-up and mad rush and stress to get everything done like there usually is before Christmas. And we usually get the first rains of the season. Seriously. If you are a tourist, don’t come to CT at the Easter weekend if it’s sun and beaches that you want.  It doesn’t happen in these parts  – it ALWAYS rains on our Easter weekend and this weekend was no different.

This weekend was all food and family and books and chocolate and movies and knitting and puzzles and so many other cool things.

A few updates:

Child2 who hates little yapping dogs actually conquered his fear this weekend and it was so sweet to see. If you are my FB friend, then you’ll see a picture of him chatting to my cousins little dog.  Go look!

Today we had a spontaneous outing with the kids. We went for breakfast and ended up at a diner kind of place. IT was really cool.  They play music from the 50s!  I LOVE 50s music. Do you? It makes me feel happy and like I should be dancing. I should get some more for at home.

After breakfast we decided to do an impromptu movie (do you know how big this is for us?) and took the kids to see The Croods. It was a sweet, funny movie and I would actually recommend it. This is only the 2^nd time that I’ve taken Child2 (I wrote about our first experience here) and he coped really well! Way better than the last time I took him. My DH and I were so proud of him.  When we walked out of the movie theatre I felt even more proud of him. He said: “Mommy Mommy Mommy, I need to go home now”. Don’t you just love that he can recognise when things are starting to get too much for him? We left immediately and as soon as we arrived home he jumped straight into the bath! It felt AWESOME to feel like a normal family for a change. Gosh, it’s been so long since I felt that!

And so tomorrow it’s back to work for my DH and I. Both kids are sorted – Child1 goes to aftercare and Child2 still has school.

Oh, and a miracle happened! I am thrilled. My MIL decided (before my DH could have the conversation with her) that she preferred to stay in her own flat. Said it was more comfortable for her and that her flatmate and my SIL were being excellent nurses to her. There are not enough words in the Oxford Dictionary to describe how this bit of news just THRILLED me. We popped around at her place yesterday before we went for lunch and she thanked me for supporting her the way I have.

Right now, my kids are in bed and I’m off to bed too. I am starting a new book (which is always exciting) and my DH wants us to watch series. Need to decide what will happen first. I think it will be the book.

I hope that you’ve had a fantastic Easter weekend? What did you get up to?

Have a fantastic week ahead. Xx

Ps..this post is so all over the place and has way to many exclamation marks!!! I would apologise for that,but at this moment, it actually it works for me.

It’s the end of the world as we know it and I have really good friends

That REM song has been in my head for a few days now.  It’s the end of the world as we know it and I feel fine. Only, I don’t feel fine. I hope to feel fine at some point.

There is just so much going on at the moment.

Some of it upsets me tremendously. Some of it makes me downright anxious.

Sometimes there are bursts of excitement.  I’m choosing to focus on the exciting bits but it’s so hard to do that when all the not-exciting stuff is just so in my face.

I just don’t have words at the moment. They all come out wrong and then everyone gets upset.  So I keep my words close to my chest. Which makes it worse.

I hate when I can’t use my words in the way that I need to. So I’ve been cleaning my house. A lot. Like a nesting pregnant person.  I have a clean house but no words.

Sleep is elusive.

I really hate when my sleep patterns become unsettled. It throws my entire life off balance.

But. It is the weekend. My friend is fetching me just now. We are going for a walk and a cheap breakfast.  And I have another friend coming over sometime during the day. It’s my friend who likes to clean my house. Seriously. She comes and visits me and then starts to clean up. Initially I was uncomfortable. Then she told me that it’s not me, it’s her. It’s her thing. So now I humour her.  Acts of Service is her primary love language. Do you have friends like that?  Would you be OK with a friend visiting you and then cleaning your house? I think I will make her go out for a coffee or something.

I may go and play some drums as well. IF I do, then I will smash those drums. I really need to hit something at the moment.

And on Sunday morning I have a knitting date. Some good conversation and cake and tea and knitting is my idea of a perfect friend date. What’s your perfect friend date?

If there is time then I think that I may go and upgrade my phone too. A new device will also make me feel better and the distraction and play time on a new device will quite welcome. Btw…Samsung has a Galaxy Mini for half the price of the regular one. Do you know it? Would you recommend it?

Quite honestly, I just need to be out of my house at the moment. And away from the people there.

How are you? What does your weekend look like?

Ps…Child2 and his left-hand scissors go together like strawberries and cream. I am sooooo excited.  He is too! I plan to shop up a storm for him. Have a look here. And here. I should blog about this some more.

Pps..My MIL has been discharged from hospital. She has used her stroke to emotionally blackmail herself into my house. I cannot talk about it because it upsets me too much. My poor DH is in the middle of his wife and his Mother and it’s just so much worse for him. He says that he will take her home on Sunday night because she can’t be here alone during the day. THAT, my dear friends, remains to be seen.

 

A post about bath routines/obsessions

I don’t know if I’ve mentioned this before (I suspect I have mentioned it) but Child2 loves loves loves his bath.

That is one fight that I have never need to have with him.

He runs his own bath and just gets in and lies there.  He doesn’t even really splash around. It’s like he’s meditating or something. Then he calls me (after what seems like an eternity) and says “Mommy mommy Mommy , I want to get done”. Mommy is always said exactly 3 times in succession.

That’s usually my cue to go and wash him and get him ready for bed or whatever.

On the weekends he baths maybe 3 times a day. I leave him. Also, when he’s having a particularly difficult time, he runs himself a bath and gets in. Just lies there on his back with his ears under the water and sings. I think he likes that sound. I think it’s cool that he’s found a way to calm himself.

When he’s having a meltdown, I hold him tight until he’s calmer and then run him a bath. Best meltdown cure ever. Only problem is the public place meltdowns but I am sure we’ll figure out a solution to that at some point. It doesn’t happen too much as I’m getting better at recognising his triggers. For the moment though I drive home and put him in the bath!

Lately he’s been getting up in the mornings and wanting to bath.  I take a bath in the mornings to help me wake up. He then jumps into my bath water! Apparently it helps him wake up too. In fact, it changes his entire mood.

Child2 is usually terrible to deal with in the mornings. I go into his room and I say: “time to wake up” and he whines and says “want to sleep”. Then I have to force him to wake and get done amd this is usually causes my morning to go pear-shaped.

However, if I say: “time to wake up, your bath water’s ready”, then he jumps out of bed! He lies in the bath for a bit, we brush teeth and then he dresses himself. As long as SABC3 is on. He likes SABC3.  Lately he’s not been liking the 2 clothing options that I  put out for him. He scratches in his drawers and chooses his own outfit. I leave him. Even if it does mean that he wears socks with his flip flops.

Then he has his toast with cheese (cut into triangles) while I start moving stuff to the car. As soon as he’s done we walk through the house so that HE can switch off all the lights. This makes him insanely happy! And of course it makes my morning way more pleasant if he’s happy. We drive to school and sing all the way there. Then we get to school and greet the animals. He asks them how they are and all of that. In fact, he actually wants to touch those bunnies and it freaks me out a bit – I am really not an animal person.

I am worried about the morning bath thing though. For the moment it’s fine as long as we are not running late but I suspect that it’s going to become a problem. I think he may get sick in the winter if we bath and then step out into the cold. For now though I am playing it by ear and I will cross that bridge when I get there.

Are your kids obsessive about baths or anything else for that matter? What are their current obsessions? How would you suggest I tackle the morning bath issue in the winter? Any ideas?

Btw…we have finally established (at the ripe old age of 5) that Child2 is left-hand dominant. Do you know how much therapy we had to go through to work this out? I am thrilled (he’s actually the first lefty in my life – is that weird?) and will treat him later to a pair of funky left-handed scissors. I think he deserves it!

What are you up to on this public holiday? My DH is at work today, so as soon as Child2 is done with his bath (guess where he is right now?) I’m taking them out for breakfast and then we’ll go for a walk. And to buy the scissors!

February kicked my butt!

…but  it was just awesome. I have learned something though:

I really am too old to be on the move all the time. I am still trying to recover from week 2 when I had something on every single night of the week!

Anyway, here’s a summary of the most fun-filled February in YEARS!

Movies watched:

Silver Linings Playbook – Loved it..

Argo – Loved it.

The Notebook – I liked it.

Create:

I finished a scarf that I’d been knitting for a long, long time

I downloaded some free printables for V-Day for my Boyfriend and  my sons.

Child1 and I made some bookmarks for his Mondeling demonstration. I think I’ll blog these things later this week.

Started a piece of embroidery. Not done. I got bored.

Celebrations:

C and C’s wedding

S and Y’s wedding

Socials and Friend Dates:

A spot of high tea and sewing at The Cape Grace with friend S

Dinner with Friends Y and O.

Meet-up with @Fairygirl and her family.

Meet up with the funky ladies of Let’s Get Crafty.

Kids:

Beach swimming at Muizenberg, a swim at St James, an eat-out adventure at a Chinese place on the Chinese New Year -even Child1 aka the world’s fussiest eater loved it.. Frozen yoghurt, window shopping and silly photo booth pics – not sure yet, maybe I’ll post one.

Books read:

House Rules – Jody Picoult – enjoyed a lot.

Beatrice and Virgil – Yann Martel – still in progress. I was WAY too busy having fun to read or to watch TV for that matter!

Shows Watched:

Rodriguez – beautiful and moving and just stunning.

Things bought:

New pair of jeans, one of those many-styles-in-one tops in black.

Fortunately my March is quieter and ends with the Easter Weekend.

How was your February?  And CT-people, how bad is this heat today? For the first time in my life I have wished for some wind to cool down the heat!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Escapism and the week ahead

So I had a seriously divine weekend.

It consisted of some socialising with SIL and her friends, beach swimming that left me feeling exhilarated and pumping with endorphins, playing with kids, visiting my parents, movies (I watched The Notebook and DID NOT CRY – could there be something wrong with me?), a trip to Wellington (about 100km away) and a divine braai and some more swimming with Leigh-Ann and her beautiful family. I am usually nervous to take Child2 to new people because of the fact that he’s so unpredictable, but he was just fine and we had a lovely afternoon.

I got into bed last night and had plans to read but I was completely knackered and fell asleep after about 5 minutes.  I was out cold by 21:10.

So yes, it was a BEAUTIFUL weekend.

Pure escapism from reality. I did not go onto SM (OK, I did just a bit – 10 minutes max for the entire weekend broken up into 3 little snippets), I did not read a single news report, I did not listen to any radio, I read only  2 blog posts so have loads of reading and comment catch-up lined up over the next day or so.  But seriously though. The silence and the lack of noise and the peace and the feelings of pure bliss that I experienced =  simply out of this world. I need to get back into NOT using SM on the weekends. I’m currently not there on during office hours so I know that it can be done.

This week I look forward to seeing Rodriguez whose music my DH introduced me to when we met.  Am too excited about this!

Child1 has a few projects coming up and so I’m going to have to spend a bit of time assisting him.

I have catch-up/goal setting sessions with all of Child2’s therapists.

AND my DH and I will be attending a wedding this coming weekend.  It’s a bit of a distance from where we live  so we’ll be sleeping out. Am excited about MORE adult time.

My Monday was a bit of a killer and I’m really thrilled to be home right now. Am off to bed in a minute or so.  Child1 and I are doing projects in my bed. Not ideal but right now it’s the only way I can help him.

How was your Monday?

Did you have a good weekend?

What’s on your agenda for week 8/52?

 

 

Merry Christmas!

Merry Christmas!

I’ve had a GLORIOUS Christmas Day. Lunch was divine and there was no drama, only love and good food and togetherness. My kids LOVED their gifts and my DH got it right with me too!

I’ve listened to A LOT of Christmas music in the last while and I thought I’d share only 3 of my favourites.

My Favourite FAVOURITE is “Mary, did you know” by Kenny Rogers. I LOVE this one and I can listen to it over and over.  I guess it appeals to me as a Mom. We just have NO IDEA what greatness lies ahead for our kids or what magnificence they will be as adults.

 

My other favourite is Mariah’s version of “All I want for Christmas” – I never get tired of this one and in case you didn’t know, Love Actually is my favourite Christmas movie of all time.

 

Then, my BEST NEW DISCOVERY for Christmas Music in 2012 goes to Steven Curtis Chapman. I realise that I may be late to the SCC party but Shayne recommended him to me and I LOVE LOVE LOVE him. Here’s one of his songs, it’s called It’s Christmas Time”. Such a fun, upbeat song!

 

Anyway, we only just got home a short while ago and my kids are all over me at the moment. Also, I need to pack. Because we are going away tomorrow for a short break.

I hope that you all had a FANTASTIC day and I wish you the Happiest Holidays EVER!

Please enjoy the time with your families and do spare a thought for those who struggle at this time of the year? I’m talking about those who have lost loved ones or those who are infertile or those who just generally struggle with depression and loneliness this time of the year. Keep them in your thoughts and prayers. Please.

Enjoy the rest of your Christmas day

Love

Me + DH + Child1 + Child2

A bit of a catch-up

So I think that my body has caught up to the fact that I’m on holiday. I am feeling drained and so exhausted that I can barely move today. I managed to finish all my errands over these past two days though and so for the rest of the week it’s just friend dates, swimming and hanging out with Rose – I’ve been really busy these past few days and have neglected her a bit. And there is a bit of last-minute gift wrapping to be done. My DH and I are doing it tonight over a glass of wine and a few snacks. He has arranged with MIL to take our kids for 2 days so they are off tonight and we’ll see them on Saturday evening again.

Here’s a bit of a catch-up:

We attended our first Carol Service this weekend. In fact, let me rephrase that – we attended our first successful carol service in the history of my parenting journey this weekend. Both kids were fine and had a fantastic time (I think it’s because it was an outdoor event with a picnic) and for the first time ever we didn’t have to leave early due to meltdowns. I think I feel safe to put this on our calendar for next year and THIS makes me soooooo happy! Normal is happening in stages but it’s happening! Slowly but surely.

I had final meetings with both Child2’s therapists and I am thrilled. And grateful. And so very happy. My boy has come SUCH a long way in the 2^nd half of this year. I have tears in my eyes when I think about this and when I think about where he was last year this time.

My secret santa gift came last week and I LOVE it.  My clever, thoughtful elf went to one of my pinterest boards and got her inspiration from there. She printed some inspirational words for me on a canvas. I cried when I opened it because the timing of those words were sooooo apt on that particular day.  This is what it looks like. Isn’t it beautiful?

Source: myblessedlife.net via Julia on Pinterest

 

I drew some lines in the sand this past week and I decided to walk away from a relationship that was no longer serving me. My DH felt I was being a bit drastic. I told him that this is me respecting myself enough to walk away. I am at peace with this decision.

I’ve been power-walking and swimming with Child1 for the past 3 days and seriously. As much as I LOVE running, I still get my best endorphin rush from swimming. My hair is currently looking like something NOT out of a magazine and I don’t particularly care. When on holiday, do what holiday-makers do with their hair and all that i.e. do NOTHING about it.

I am LOVING some new and different Christmas music for a change. This week I was listening to Sting and Lady Antebellum and Colby Caillat. And apparently Coldplay also has Christmas songs. Must see if I can find them! Am too excited. Any recommendations for different Christmas music? Michael Buble, Celine Dion, Whitney Houston and Mariah Carey don’t count. OK?

PMS was just unbearable this past month. I have an appointment with the Gynae at the end of  January and I’m going to ask her to do something to get rid of this pesky period. It cramps my style too much.

Most of my Christmas cards have gone out. Actually all of them have gone out. Some people will get theirs a little bit after Christmas though. Sorry!

I had a cool friend date yesterday. A power-walk in the morning followed by lunch followed by a beach walk followed by ice cream. My love tank is soooo full at this moment. And my body is aching but I am ignoring that bit.

How are you doing though? Surviving the craziness? How are your kids?

Am off to go and swim with Child1 now (have to force myself even though my body is aching) before we go and fetch Child2.

Later.

xx