Life is life. Na na, nana na – Opus

Sjoe. It’s been a while, yes?

I have been a bit on the busy side. So busy that I haven’t really been reading blogs or commenting. In fact, I’ve hardly been online.  I even have unanswered emails – soooooo unlike me. I did a bit of a catch up today though and I feel a bit better.

My NBL put me on a new account at work (just for this month) which has been super interesting. I LOVE learning new stuff and it’s kept me very busy, which is lovely. I needed to be challenged – she could see that I was bored and ready to stick some pens in my eyes. Let’s see what happens next month.

My home life has been busy too. My husband has been working late and so I’ve been a Single Married Mom, very busy with ridiculous projects with Child1 and helping him to study – his entire exam takes place within one week starting on 27 May. I’ve also been trying to prepare him for tomorrow when the new teacher starts. And I’ve been trying to (unsuccessfully) prepare Child2 for the next two weeks.. He’s going to this school that I don’t want him to go to for some observation. I don’t think he’s understanding that life is going to be a bit different for the next two weeks. HE does not appear to grasp this.  AT ALL. So, fun times ahead in this house.

People around me are having lots of problems too. Some friends. Some family. I don’t get involved but that doesn’t mean that it doesn’t affect me. I am a feeler after all. Terrible, but true.

And between all of this I have been catching up on sleep, on reading,  and watching House. I LOVE House. Do you watch House? I think he’s really cool but I would NOT be able to cope with him as my Dr.

Anyway. That’s where I’m at right now. I spent the day nursing Child2 because he’s not hundreds. There’s this cough and fever thing that he has going. Can’t have him getting sick now. I think he’s getting better because he just screamed at Child1 (who is being himself and trying to nurture his sick brother) to leave him alone to watch his Barney and go and tidy up the bedroom! I tried to keep a straight face but I couldn’t.

I hope that you are well. And I hope that you will have a fantastic week.

Bags and lunches and clothing are all sorted for tomorrow and so it’s all systems go.  Am going to test Child1 quickly and then I’m off to bed with my book.

How was your weekend? What’s happening in your life?

 

Easter Weekend = Happiness

Well, hello there.  Feels like it has been forever since I blogged!

I have had such a divine weekend with my little family. We absolutely needed this time together after the past few hectic weeks.

I have said before that the Easter weekend is my most favourite holiday – it still is, for more reasons than one. I think I may like it more than Christmas time – there isn’t that build-up and mad rush and stress to get everything done like there usually is before Christmas. And we usually get the first rains of the season. Seriously. If you are a tourist, don’t come to CT at the Easter weekend if it’s sun and beaches that you want.  It doesn’t happen in these parts  – it ALWAYS rains on our Easter weekend and this weekend was no different.

This weekend was all food and family and books and chocolate and movies and knitting and puzzles and so many other cool things.

A few updates:

Child2 who hates little yapping dogs actually conquered his fear this weekend and it was so sweet to see. If you are my FB friend, then you’ll see a picture of him chatting to my cousins little dog.  Go look!

Today we had a spontaneous outing with the kids. We went for breakfast and ended up at a diner kind of place. IT was really cool.  They play music from the 50s!  I LOVE 50s music. Do you? It makes me feel happy and like I should be dancing. I should get some more for at home.

After breakfast we decided to do an impromptu movie (do you know how big this is for us?) and took the kids to see The Croods. It was a sweet, funny movie and I would actually recommend it. This is only the 2^nd time that I’ve taken Child2 (I wrote about our first experience here) and he coped really well! Way better than the last time I took him. My DH and I were so proud of him.  When we walked out of the movie theatre I felt even more proud of him. He said: “Mommy Mommy Mommy, I need to go home now”. Don’t you just love that he can recognise when things are starting to get too much for him? We left immediately and as soon as we arrived home he jumped straight into the bath! It felt AWESOME to feel like a normal family for a change. Gosh, it’s been so long since I felt that!

And so tomorrow it’s back to work for my DH and I. Both kids are sorted – Child1 goes to aftercare and Child2 still has school.

Oh, and a miracle happened! I am thrilled. My MIL decided (before my DH could have the conversation with her) that she preferred to stay in her own flat. Said it was more comfortable for her and that her flatmate and my SIL were being excellent nurses to her. There are not enough words in the Oxford Dictionary to describe how this bit of news just THRILLED me. We popped around at her place yesterday before we went for lunch and she thanked me for supporting her the way I have.

Right now, my kids are in bed and I’m off to bed too. I am starting a new book (which is always exciting) and my DH wants us to watch series. Need to decide what will happen first. I think it will be the book.

I hope that you’ve had a fantastic Easter weekend? What did you get up to?

Have a fantastic week ahead. Xx

Ps..this post is so all over the place and has way to many exclamation marks!!! I would apologise for that,but at this moment, it actually it works for me.

A post about bath routines/obsessions

I don’t know if I’ve mentioned this before (I suspect I have mentioned it) but Child2 loves loves loves his bath.

That is one fight that I have never need to have with him.

He runs his own bath and just gets in and lies there.  He doesn’t even really splash around. It’s like he’s meditating or something. Then he calls me (after what seems like an eternity) and says “Mommy mommy Mommy , I want to get done”. Mommy is always said exactly 3 times in succession.

That’s usually my cue to go and wash him and get him ready for bed or whatever.

On the weekends he baths maybe 3 times a day. I leave him. Also, when he’s having a particularly difficult time, he runs himself a bath and gets in. Just lies there on his back with his ears under the water and sings. I think he likes that sound. I think it’s cool that he’s found a way to calm himself.

When he’s having a meltdown, I hold him tight until he’s calmer and then run him a bath. Best meltdown cure ever. Only problem is the public place meltdowns but I am sure we’ll figure out a solution to that at some point. It doesn’t happen too much as I’m getting better at recognising his triggers. For the moment though I drive home and put him in the bath!

Lately he’s been getting up in the mornings and wanting to bath.  I take a bath in the mornings to help me wake up. He then jumps into my bath water! Apparently it helps him wake up too. In fact, it changes his entire mood.

Child2 is usually terrible to deal with in the mornings. I go into his room and I say: “time to wake up” and he whines and says “want to sleep”. Then I have to force him to wake and get done amd this is usually causes my morning to go pear-shaped.

However, if I say: “time to wake up, your bath water’s ready”, then he jumps out of bed! He lies in the bath for a bit, we brush teeth and then he dresses himself. As long as SABC3 is on. He likes SABC3.  Lately he’s not been liking the 2 clothing options that I  put out for him. He scratches in his drawers and chooses his own outfit. I leave him. Even if it does mean that he wears socks with his flip flops.

Then he has his toast with cheese (cut into triangles) while I start moving stuff to the car. As soon as he’s done we walk through the house so that HE can switch off all the lights. This makes him insanely happy! And of course it makes my morning way more pleasant if he’s happy. We drive to school and sing all the way there. Then we get to school and greet the animals. He asks them how they are and all of that. In fact, he actually wants to touch those bunnies and it freaks me out a bit – I am really not an animal person.

I am worried about the morning bath thing though. For the moment it’s fine as long as we are not running late but I suspect that it’s going to become a problem. I think he may get sick in the winter if we bath and then step out into the cold. For now though I am playing it by ear and I will cross that bridge when I get there.

Are your kids obsessive about baths or anything else for that matter? What are their current obsessions? How would you suggest I tackle the morning bath issue in the winter? Any ideas?

Btw…we have finally established (at the ripe old age of 5) that Child2 is left-hand dominant. Do you know how much therapy we had to go through to work this out? I am thrilled (he’s actually the first lefty in my life – is that weird?) and will treat him later to a pair of funky left-handed scissors. I think he deserves it!

What are you up to on this public holiday? My DH is at work today, so as soon as Child2 is done with his bath (guess where he is right now?) I’m taking them out for breakfast and then we’ll go for a walk. And to buy the scissors!

An update of sorts

• Thank you so much for your kind messages about my MIL. There are signs of improvement. Her speech (although minimal and all weird and slurry) appears to be coming back. She’s having ST and OT. There have been numerous scans and tests of which we await some results. She doesn’t seem to have lost her mind and definitely knows what’s happening around her. Her blood pressure has come down but it’s still too high at 200/150 and she’s having heart failure – only a bit of heart failure according to her Dr.  I don’t quite know if a bit of heart failure is even OK.  They increased some of the medication dosages today, so for now it’s a waiting game. My DH is much calmer after having seen her and speaking to her Dr. I thought it was terrible to have a sick child. I think it is just as bad, if not worse to have a sick parent. She only wants me. And you know how absolutely terrible I am with sick adults. I’m taking it in my stride. I very nearly called her today to ask if she wanted me to bring her some dinner. But then I realised that both of us would end up being frustrated. So I didn’t call. I didn’t send dinner either. Because I had no idea what to send. She can’t chew.

• Yesterday I went to check out a school for Child2. We were at the hospital when they called to ask if I had forgotten. I rushed out of there to fetch Child2. Then I decided that I may as well get Child1 so that I don’t have to go back and fetch him later. We arrived an hour late. It was the school that our Neuro recommended.  It’s a lovely school but I don’t believe that it’s for my child. My feelings on this subject haven’t changed. I wrote about them in this post. My DH went with me and feels the same way. Thank goodness.

• Work was a killer today – enough said. I hate that place with a passion. My colleagues are lovely though and sent me beautiful, thoughtful, encouraging messages throughout the day yesterday.  They made a huge fuss today as well. Nothing from NBL though. Not even a “how are you”.  But then, she’s not good at empathizing with anyone. I should learn to accept people for who and what they are.

• It was our wedding anniversary yesterday. For the first time ever it was a non-event, mainly because of everything else going on. My MIL did manage to congratulate us when we got to the hospital. She tried really hard and this meant so much. I don’t know when we’ll get to go out and celebrate it properly now that our babysitter is out of action.  But, it’s not the end of the world. A plan shall be made.

• And come to think of it, the holidays are starting next week. I think. I have no babysitter. Gosh, I am so very spoilt. I’ve never ever had to ask anyone else! Best I start making phone calls ASAP.

• I haven’t tried out a replacement for Google Reader yet. I’m kind of waiting it out. I’ll probably wake up on 30 June 2013. Because procrastination is my middle name and really people, because THAT is how I roll. In the meantime though, if you do find something that works, please blog about it? Preferably with a list of pros and cons. OK

• I went to buy my MIL her birthday request item yesterday. It was fine. Don’t know why I was so freaked out by it. Mrs FF gave me really good advice via BBM which I followed to the T.  I bought a few boring ones for the hospital and I bought some nicer ones that I’ll wrap for her for when she comes home – she loves opening gifts.  I added some nice pyjamas and toiletry items as well. And chocolates.  I took everything to her except the chocolates. Because I think that they may be bad for her with the meds that she’s now taking. The chocolates are staring at me. I’m going to be good and resist them.

• Anyway, that’s it for the moment.  You’ve all been phenomenal at supporting me. THANK YOU.

Did you have a good Tuesday? How was your weekend?

 

 

 

 

 

 

Note to self: play for fun already!

I am feeling a lot better than I felt last week. Thank you for your thoughtful and encouraging comments on this post. 

I’ll be seeing all the therapists this week and I also re-implemented a toilet routine for Child2  which seems to have helped tremendously. I think he’s been feeling out of sorts too.

I also had a lot of one-on-one time with Child2 this weekend and it was beautiful. I remembered why I am so very taken with him. Why I am absolutely and completely besotted with him. How funny he is and how much he loves to laugh and snuggle with me. How deeply intuitive he is. How truly, madly, deeply and unconditionally he loves.

Alone-time with him is generally frustrating. I know that this is not a pc thing to say. I mean seriously. What kind of Mother doesn’t particularly enjoy alone time with her kid. Especially if QT is one of her primary love languages?

For me it’s frustrating because of the words issue. I am a words person and this is the thing that I struggle with the most. The lack of words. The fact that the words come only on his terms – they basically come when I have just about given up. It isn’t too big a deal for me that he has lots of catching up wrt other milestones. I can live with this. But the lack of words? That is what truly kills me.

For him, it’s frustrating because of the fact that his Mommy doesn’t let him be. His Mommy wants to direct the Mommy and Child2 time.   His Mommy wants to force him to do things that he’s not ready to do just yet. His Mommy wants alone time with him on her terms only. His Mommy makes him work hard during Mommy and Child2 time. His Mommy pushes him to learn stuff during Mommy and Child2 time.

Some months ago, Tamryn wrote a poignant post on play and I could absolutely relate to it. You can read it here.

See, when you have a kid who is different, then alone time/ play time is also different.

It is different because there is no such thing as free play.

It is different because ALL your play is geared towards accomplishing a very specific goal.  There is no such thing as just playing with a ball. Or just having fun with drawing and colouring in or cutting and pasting. Or just climbing. Or just crawling. These activities are done for very specific reasons.

It is different because you are both working (hard) through play towards mastering a skill that your child should have mastered approximately 2/3 years ago.

It is different because play time is essentially an extension of therapy. You are following through on the instructions of your kids therapists. You are essentially bringing the therapy into your home environment.

You are constantly wondering when your child will acquire this skill and that skill and you push and push and push and end up frustrating all parties involved.

This weekend I allowed him to direct our time together and I took all my cues from him. It was divine. We played only what he wanted to play and did only what he felt like doing. We connected for the first time in a long time.  I realised just how much I’ve missed him in the last while and it was soooo good for the soul.

It struck me that I need to find a better  balance between learning play and free play. I need to find a way to make this work for both of us.

I need to let him be, and not focus so completely on what he needs to have been able to do by now.

In short, I need to take a chill pill because at some point he will get there already!

What is your “play time” like with your child?

Do you do structured activities or does it revolve around free play?

Are you the director or do you take your cues from them at all times?

Do you feel that you have a good balance?

Is this something that comes naturally to you or do you have to work hard at it?

A post filled with nothing. And everything.

So right now I have three things on my mind. I will elaborate:

Thing 1: My words make me nervous 

I have written 9 blog posts since Monday.  I write early in the morning and late into the night.  I write about my kids and their issues. I write about rape. I write about being judged. I write my perceptions of certain things.  I write about bearing grudges. I write about my feelings on prayer. On church people. On Christians.  I write about money.

I want to publish every single time. And then I am not sure anymore. So I don’t publish. I love the pieces that I have written. I am proud of the pieces that I have written. I believe that the content is really good. But suddenly I just feel weird putting my thoughts out there. I am afraid I will be judged for thinking the way I do. I don’t know why I suddenly care what people think.  Maybe because I was in a situation last week where I had to put up with someone judging me. It affected me. I feel scarred in a way. I feel raw.  I feel self-conscious. I hope this feeling passes. I don’t like it. It feels like I can’t be myself.

 

Thing 2: Child2  

I had Child2 screened for Fragile X syndrome. His tests came back negative and the Neuro doesn’t see the need to put him through any further genetic testing – apparently it will be painful and traumatic for him. Does she really have the right to make that call?  Am I being a cruel mommy to want to put him through that so I can have closure?

On the one hand I am relieved. On the other hand I am a bit frustrated. I know that in life there are not always reasons for things but I had hoped to be able to point a finger at something or have a reason for the ASD.  Just so I could once and for all get some form of closure. Maybe then my DH and I could both accept the situation? Maybe then he will stop saying things like “is this child ever going to come right?”  Alas. I can’t pinpoint anything. It just is the way it is.

And speaking of Child2, I am incredibly frustrated at the moment. According to his teacher everything is fine at school.  I know she’s telling the truth. He’s happy at school.  I must run after him to get a good-bye kiss. He gets excited when we drive into the school’s road in the mornings.

At home he forgets to use the toilet and speaks gibberish all the time.  He refuses to fall asleep.  He does things that he knows he’s not supposed to do. I struggle to discipline him. I wonder if he even understands. He’s not completely getting that every action has a consequence or a reaction. I need to spend more time with him. I want to spend more time with him. I love spending time with him. I hate spending time with him. It is frustrating to spend time with him. I want conversations. I want words. I want engagement. I do not get any of this.

I don’t quite know what is going on with him but I am going to see his therapists next week because it suddenly seems like we are back to square 1.  Is that even possible? Can he just forget everything that he has learned? All the progress that he’s made?  Do you know how my bank balance suffers from all the money that I spend on therapists? Last year I gave him all my energy and in the process, neglected Child1 which in turn had serious consequences. This year I seem to be successful at doing the opposite. I am spending my energy on Child1 because he really needs me right now and in the process Child2 appears to be regressing. I just can’t win and it looks like I’m going to have to quit my job so I can have time for both my kids and their issues. It’s either that or I need to have myself cloned.

 

Thing 3: My DH 

Apparently he is odd. In his brain. I suppose that makes us a perfect match. That’s probably why our kids are also odd. Anyway. He has some big things happening in his life. There are pros and cons. It makes me happy and sad. I feel happysad. Does that make sense? Right now, his head is in the clouds and I’m humouring him. I can’t give more detail than that right now. Hopefully soon.

How are you on this Thursday? What’s on your mind today? Have you ever felt happysad about something?

Seven on Sunday

• Sjoe. I have been BUSY! I actually need to write a post on that busy-ness. It doesn’t make me happy. I find it easy to take timeout and have downtime and I REALLY hate being busy, especially with things that I don’t particularly enjoy.

• The past two weeks have been all about Child1, tests in all subjects, projects, speech prep and practice and Afrikaans mondeling prep and practice.  I was hardcore and I PUSHED him. He didn’t fight me. Maybe because he knew he had no choice in the matter. He actually  thrived. I am knackered. Because pushing your kid actually takes a lot of YOUR time and is exhausting. My BB status last week was Moeg Perd. Or rather Tired Horse. Thankfully this round of tests will finish up on Wednesday and then we can all breathe again for a bit.

• In the meantime, Child2 appears to have forgotten that one actually needs to do ones business IN THE TOILET. He seems to prefer the yard and all these other odd places. I think he’s missing me a lot. I haven’t really spent a lot of time with him these past 2 weeks. I tried to have alone time with him yesterday but we both fell asleep. LOL…does that count? I am planning to fetch him early one day this week and will take him to the park or something. Btw…do you know how hard it is to have Mommy and Me time with a kid who doesn’t really do conversations? Pffft.  I will continue to try to believe that we’ll get there.

• Yesterday afternoon my DH took Child2 to a B-Day party so that Child1 and I could do Maths.  My DH says he was anti-social and refused to take part in party games. He preferred to play with the chickens, jump on the trampoline and hog the cake table. I feel I must phone the B-Day girl’s mom to apologise because quite honestly I am mortified! My DH is completely unperturbed  by it all. Is this a male/female thing? He says that the Mom was very cool about it all (her daughter is in Child2′s class and so she knew what to expect) and that at least our child didn’t meltdown and perform like one of the other kids! Oy.

• Added to all this I have had the worst PMS EVER! I wrote about 12 blog posts this week. All fueled by PMS. Fortunately I was too busy with Child1 to get onto WordPress so I have spared you all that angst and emotional drama. Eish. I need to get this pesky period done away with ASAP. 

• I won tickets to a Stars Workshop  off this blog. Btw…that happens to be one of my favourite blogs at the moment. I will do a post later this week and link some new blogs that I discovered in the last couple of months.  Anyway, the workshop took place yesterday and was fun! Exactly what I needed.  I took a good friend along and we had a GREAT time connecting.

• Our neighbour woke us this morning at 8am with warm koeksisters (or koesiesters as we say in coloured country) which we had for breakfast with tea. Isn’t that just divine of her? Most of my Sunday was spent in bed though. We were out of the house at 9:15am this morning. We visited MIL and then my Dad and were back home by 11am. I then got into bed and stayed there up until about an hour ago. Right now the kids are bathed and fed and I’m doing a quick tidy-up before I get back into bed with Rose who I’ve really been neglecting of late.

How are  you and how was your weekend?

This week promises to be easier than the last few and I plan to READ A LOT!

What does your week look like?

 

I don’t want it.

I have not been able to verbalise a particular issue since 12/12/2011 when Child2 was diagnosed.

I’m ready now so here goes:

I don’t want Child2 to attend a school for learners who are on the Autism Spectrum.

There. I said it.

I believe that he CAN and WILL manage in a mainstream environment. Not just any mainstream environment. Obviously I’m leaning towards one that is more suited to who he is.  HE does need to be in a small school. Possibly a remedial-type environment if necessary.

I believe that he needs to be in an inclusive environment.

After all, he doesn’t get to have a special Pick ‘n Pay because of the fact that he’s on the spectrum. Or a special movie theatre because of the fact that he’s on the spectrum. Or a special table at the Spur because of the fact that he’s on the spectrum. Or a special path at the mall to walk on because of the fact that he’s on the spectrum.

I am raising a boy for the world. How do I do that if I limit him to a specific environment? An environment where it is already assumed that he probably won’t even  matriculate? An environment where it is already assumed that  he will probably amount to nothing? I am sorry but I CANNOT accept that.  It’s just too painful to even contemplate and quite honestly, I’m simply not prepared to even entertain that notion.

I believe that a number of his issues can and will be corrected with therapy. I see growth and improvement and change in him EVERY SINGLE DAY.

Don’t get me wrong. I believe that there IS a place for Autism-specific schools. From what I can tell, Autism-specific schools are geared towards Autistic Learners who are at the very opposite end of the spectrum. They are aimed at kids who are severely Autistic.  Child2 is actually very high functioning. He continues to show improvement in communicating and he shows more and more signs of independence every day.

So no. I don’t want my Child in a school for learners on the spectrum.

Because it feels like I have given up on him and his abilities and his awesomeness before we have even started out on the school journey.

What kind of parent would I be if I did that?

That  is NOT who I am or what I am about. That is NOT how I choose to parent.

Perhaps this is denial talking.  Perhaps I haven’t completely dealt with it (even though I think I have). Perhaps this is just me being his Mommy. The person who knows him the best. The person who knows EXACTLY what will and won’t work for him.

I explained my feelings about this to our Neuro the other day. She understood exactly where I was coming from. She believes in having a Plan B though (according to her an Autism Specific school should be a Plan B) and she promised to support me with whatever I decided as long as I went into situations with my eyes wide open.

Well. I don’t need a Plan B.  Because I KNOW that this is the right decision for him.

I don’t believe that I’m in denial and I really do feel VERY strongly about this.

I don’t believe that I’m expecting too much of my son. I KNOW him. And I KNOW that he can do this.

I don’t know what the future holds but I’m choosing to believe and to trust that it will work out just fine.  I WILL find the right school environment for him.

I am choosing to believe that he will fly.

Actually no.  I DO believe that he will soar.

Autism or not.

Does it sound to you like I am in denial? Have you ever felt really strongly about a situation that concerns your kids even though everyone else has a certain expectation?

Humpity Hump!

So far my week has been hectic and has included Neuro appointments, banking business, vitamin shots and school meetings. And  it’s only Wednesday!

Anyway. I thought I’d provide a few updates!

• I got a call this past Friday from a school that has Child2 on their waiting list. It’s a school for kids on the Autism Spectrum. They wanted me to bring him in for an assessment/interview. I couldn’t make the assessment as we had a prior appointment that couldn’t be moved, and the receptionist then told me that she would possibly only call me later this year.  To be honest, I was relieved that we couldn’t go and I told her that I was happy for her to do that. Child2 is doing really well at the moment and I’m happy with where he is.  I’ve had lots of time in the last while to think about schooling solutions for Child2. My DH and I have gone back and forth on this and we’ve made a few decisions. I’ll write about my thoughts on this matter tomorrow.

 

• I saw Child2’s non-private Neuro on Monday and we talked about my feelings about future schooling. She understood exactly where I was coming from and she promised to support me no matter what I decided, as long as I went into situations with my eyes wide open. Have I mentioned how much I LOVE her? I always go with a long, long list of VERY technical questions and she manages to fly every time. She KNOWS her stuff and this reassures me A LOT.  We have an appointment with our Private Neuro in April and I will talk to Dr S some more about this.

 

• I am LOVING spending time with my extroverted friend. We really  are having soooo much fun!

 

• This past weekend my DH was away and I had to pull the car into the driveway at night (which I NEVER do btw).  I managed to scratch the side of the car against the wall! I thought that he would be livid but he missed me sooooo much that he was fine with it! The kids and I had a lovely time at home and I got soooo much done which PROVES that he is the main distraction in my life.

 

• I am a bit unimpressed with Child1’s school at the moment. His teacher is having a baby in June and goes off in May. She informed us in our meeting that her pregnancy is considered to be high risk and she even highlighted all the reasons why this is the case. I hope and pray that nothing unexpected happens before that – for hers and her baby’s sake and selfishly,(yes!)  for the sake of my Child as well.  Fact is, the school knew last year that she was going to be having a baby this year.  Why they left her in Grade 7 (i.e. a BIG school year with MANY expectations) and couldn’t move her to a lower grade just for this year is beyond me. I know that these things happen (really, I’m not angry at her for being pg as has been suggested) and that it’s not the ideal situation even for kids in a lower grade but it is even less ideal in the final year of a kids life at primary school. Am a bit annoyed at the planning to be honest.  I tried to get them to move him to another class but apparently it’s rocket science so we’ll have to live with it.  My DH and I are talking about what we can do to make this easier somehow.

 

• Anxiety seems to be making a very regular appearance in my life. My AD’s have always managed this but lately they seem to be making very little difference to this part of my life. I am not keen to go and have my dosage adjusted but it looks like I’m going to have to go that route – I need to think some more about how I’m going to fix this. I can no longer live with sweaty palms and my heart beating LOUDLY out of my chest and my stomach permanently being in a knot. Goodness me, I even want to smoke!  It’s officially started to affect my life. That’s not on and I won’t tolerate it. My peace needs to be restored ASAP.

 

• THIS BBM between my (childless) friend and I made me sooooo happy today. I literally could not stop smiling.

Friend L:  I was telling my mom what a great mother u are
Julia:  Oh please! Don’t be silly.
Friend L:  Told her your children very well mannered!! Even though Joel struggling with speech he still has to know his pleases and thank yous!
Friend L:  U have a lot of challenges most ppl don’t have to deal with, but u doing an awesome job just in case u sometimes doubt it
Julia:   Thank you.  X

That’s it for the moment.  I feel like taking a sick day later this week just so I can rest and get my brain to go a little bit quiet. A yoga session and an ocean swim won’t be bad either. Think I need to make that happen ASAP.

How are you doing on this hump day? Any tips to deal with anxiety?

Day 1 of school: done and dusted

Hello!

This will be a quick post because I need to get into bed with dear Rose.

• Day 1 went well. Obviously Child1 didn’t care much about anything (apparently the hype is boring or whatever) but Child2 was in his element and soooo excited.  However when we arrived at school he went quiet. I think he was a bit frazzled by all the noise and all these new kids who were crying. We went to hang up his bag and when he saw that his hook had been moved, he refused to hang up his bag! He then left me to go and play. With his bag on his back. He was EXHAUSTED when I fetched him and fell asleep in the car on the way home. He has been sleeping ever since. Am going to have to wake him to take a bath which does not bode well for our morning routine. Anyway. We’ll be fine.

 

• As I said, routine is mostly back.  So far so good. And I am in my element because I LOVE covering books!

 

• I started drumming lessons last week. Apparently (according to my teacher) I am going to be AWESOME at it. Because I am a natural or something.  I have to agree (please don’t mind me being just a little bit vain!) and I have to admit that I LOVED it!

 

• I was going to start running this week. But then I was still feeling a bit sick. Definitely next week though.  I would start this coming Saturday but I am going to be a Single Married Mom this weekend (my DH is going on a work thing) and have zero desire to drive my kids to a babysitter at 6am.  I ALSO have zero desire to run with both of them. Child2 would NEVER let me hear the end of it.

 

• It looks like my February is going to be BUSY! I have socials on EVERY weekend (except for the weekend of 16/17 Feb which I’m keeping clear for my own sanity) and I haven’t even set up any friend dates yet! It’s also the month of Sugar Man which leaves me VERY excited.

 

• Must say that, compared to last year this time, I seem to be coping just fine with the heat.  Sitting in an air-conditioned office all day helps. As does going for a swim on the weekends. As does cleaning the house when the kids are in bed and it is way cooler. I DO hope it doesn’t get any hotter though because that would surely kill me! How are you coping with the summer weather?

How are you? And how was your hump day?