Preparation 101 and so far so good.

Yesterday was day 1 of Big Changes in the house of odd kids and adults.

We took Child1 to school – he was sad because he really loved his teacher and couldn’t understand WHY she had to go and have a baby now. Gosh, I had no idea what to say. I couldn’t exactly tell him that the situation irritated me too.

So I told him that “life is life, na na nana na” and that he needed to deal with the issue, get over himself and make the best of the situation, because the new teacher would feel very bad if he didn’t make her feel welcome.  He came home and told me that she was an old woman (according to him she looks like she could be about 90) and that she was very kind and funny and that he was happy. So far so good.

We also took Child2 to the school that I don’t want him to attend so that his two weeks of observation could start. I tried to prepare him for it all weekend. He asked me about it all the time. And I repeated our routine all the time. This was what I said to him. ALL THE TIME.

Me:  On Monday morning, you will wake up even though it’s still dark outside. I will put on the TV and you can sit on the couch under the blanket and have your toast and water.  When you have finished eating, you will take a quick bath,  and as soon as you are done we’ll dress you in your blue corduroy pants and your red long-sleeved top with the truck picture on the front. You can wear your wellies if you want to, even if it doesn’t rain and we can put on your ben10 socks and underpants too.  And your new favourite blue and grey hoodie jacket.  Are you still happy with your choice of outfit?

Child2: Yes Aunty Julia. Want to wear boots.

Me: OK, you can wear your boots (btw…I can’t say wellies, I MUST say boots).

ME: Once you have finished dressing yourself, Mommy will help you to brush your teeth. After that, we will take your new pink lunchbox out of the fridge and put it in your bag. Do you remember what we packed in your new pink lunch box?

Child2:  muffin and vienna and cheese. And apple. And yoghurt. And water.

Me: Clever boy! You remember so well.

Child2: You have to clap your hands for me.

Me:  *claps hands for child2*

ME: So once your bag is packed, we will get into the car and then we will take your brother to school.  Then Daddy and I will take you to Alice. You will stay with Alice for a short while and she will play some fun games with you.

 

Child2: Want to say hello to the bunnies.

 

Me:  Daddy and I will fetch you from Alice and then we will take you to say hello to the bunnies. Then we’ll go to Sheila. We will leave you with Sheila and then after a few hours, we will fetch your brother. As soon as we have collected  your brother we will fetch you and then we will all go home.

 

The part that is highlighted in purple needed to be repeated at least 17 times. I was exhausted. But I repeated it. Because it was what he needed to feel prepared.

Anyway, the routine ran smoothly and everything happened EXACTLY the way I told him it would, which in turn meant that he was prepared and not anxious at all. Quite honestly, it went REALLY well.

We dropped him, I briefly chatted to his team (he has a TEAM of professionals observing him. Can you handle that?), I walked out. And then I broke down and cried a few buckets because I still find it hard to believe it sometimes.

I am so glad that I wasn’t alone and that my DH was with me.

We ended up having a lovely day together which included bookshop browsing, a long, long, long beach walk and coffee and cheesecake. The weather was gorgeous and we made the most of it. I also ended up going to the Dermo Dr to have a mole removed – I have been putting it off and postponing for weeks. It was fine. I LOVED the Dermo and would go back to him anytime.

The routine changed slightly today as my Dad took  him in and will be doing this in the mornings for the next two weeks. It all went perfectly and my Dad, knowing that I was probably anxious sent me a text as soon as it was all done to tell me that it went perfectly. Sjoe. What a relief.

Do your kids also need to be prepared to the nth degree for EVERY SINGLE NEW SITUATION?

Gosh. I find it all exhausting and it does make it difficult for us to be spontaneous and impromptu. But, at least it means NO MELTDOWN.

How are you doing and how was your Tuesday?

Life is life. Na na, nana na – Opus

Sjoe. It’s been a while, yes?

I have been a bit on the busy side. So busy that I haven’t really been reading blogs or commenting. In fact, I’ve hardly been online.  I even have unanswered emails – soooooo unlike me. I did a bit of a catch up today though and I feel a bit better.

My NBL put me on a new account at work (just for this month) which has been super interesting. I LOVE learning new stuff and it’s kept me very busy, which is lovely. I needed to be challenged – she could see that I was bored and ready to stick some pens in my eyes. Let’s see what happens next month.

My home life has been busy too. My husband has been working late and so I’ve been a Single Married Mom, very busy with ridiculous projects with Child1 and helping him to study – his entire exam takes place within one week starting on 27 May. I’ve also been trying to prepare him for tomorrow when the new teacher starts. And I’ve been trying to (unsuccessfully) prepare Child2 for the next two weeks.. He’s going to this school that I don’t want him to go to for some observation. I don’t think he’s understanding that life is going to be a bit different for the next two weeks. HE does not appear to grasp this.  AT ALL. So, fun times ahead in this house.

People around me are having lots of problems too. Some friends. Some family. I don’t get involved but that doesn’t mean that it doesn’t affect me. I am a feeler after all. Terrible, but true.

And between all of this I have been catching up on sleep, on reading,  and watching House. I LOVE House. Do you watch House? I think he’s really cool but I would NOT be able to cope with him as my Dr.

Anyway. That’s where I’m at right now. I spent the day nursing Child2 because he’s not hundreds. There’s this cough and fever thing that he has going. Can’t have him getting sick now. I think he’s getting better because he just screamed at Child1 (who is being himself and trying to nurture his sick brother) to leave him alone to watch his Barney and go and tidy up the bedroom! I tried to keep a straight face but I couldn’t.

I hope that you are well. And I hope that you will have a fantastic week.

Bags and lunches and clothing are all sorted for tomorrow and so it’s all systems go.  Am going to test Child1 quickly and then I’m off to bed with my book.

How was your weekend? What’s happening in your life?

 

Child1: books and offbeat humour

Child1 has his own little library at school. I found this out when I recently went to see his teacher for the parent/teacher session.

He takes his books – or rather, a selection of books and he displays them on a little, makeshift bookshelf. His teacher even made a place for it in the classroom. She’s thrilled btw. She’s not had an enthusiastic reading class for ages. Isn’t that sad?

Some of my books are there too.  I had wondered what happened to my Twilight and Hunger Games series and I assumed that they were lying all around the house like a number of the paper books. Come to think of it, that explains the mystery of my paper books lying all around the house. Remember I mentioned in this post  that I couldn’t quite understand why this was happening because I rarely read my paper books?

Well. I think that Child2 just lost his “pick-up-all-the-paper-books-and-place-them-back-on-the-bookshelf” job. There will be some restructuring in these parts and this job will now be given to Child1 aka the one actually causing this problem.

A few weeks ago I also wondered why he was being extra demanding about buying certain books – especially certain series editions. We do have an arrangement in place where I pay only half the cost of the book. He doesn’t mind 2^nd hand books so it does work out cost-effectively for both of us. The problem is that I can’t always find the time to get to the bookshops – something that has been making him quite unhappy.

Anyway. The arrangement is as follows:

Whoever would like to borrow a book can do so, as long as they write their names in the little notebook (i.e. one of MY funky notebooks) and bring it back. I don’t think that there timelines but he says that they always bring it back after a few days and that he’s never had any problems. So much trust this boy has in others. There is even a special waiting list for if you want a particular book that someone else has. And there is a list for books that you are interested in reading – i.e. books that he (and Mommy) will buy one day when they get to the bookshop again.

Once everyone has read the selection of books, he brings them home and then takes the next lot. I must say that I am astounded that he shows some organisational skills. I have yet to see this in his after-hours life. At least I know that there is hope for this happening ONE FINE DAY.

I asked him why they couldn’t just buy their own books or go to the library. He responded that he really didn’t mind sharing.

Of course I couldn’t be cross with him, even though he didn’t tell me that he was doing this. I suppose I would have said NO!

I have blogged already about how bad I am sharing at sharing. Child1 has obviously not inherited my “I-hate-sharing” gene which is probably a good thing.

I DID however rattle him for just taking my books, as well as for taking one of my notebooks – as far as I’m concerned he should have asked. I might even have bought a special notebook for him.  Actually I think I will buy a special notebook for him this weekend.  And I insisted that he write all his names in every single one of his books. With all our phone numbers.

I got lovely comments about him from his main teacher.  She absolutely LOVES him. Says that he is extremely bright and that he has exactly the same offbeat, bland sense of humour that she has. Apparently he is the only kid in the class who understands her (apparently) very British jokes. He doesn’t get that from me either. I seldom get the joke, even if I am laughing.

He’s working well, he has great manners and even though some of the social skills are a bit lacking, she can see that he does try.  She encouraged me to keep practicing with him and assured me that at some point it would all just click. Of course I didn’t tell her how I want to choke him some days. And I didn’t tell her that I am ready to record myself because I constantly have to repeat things with him.

But I will admit that I felt extremely proud after that meeting. And that for the first time in a long, long time, I actually felt that he was going to be just fine.

How are you feeling about your kids at the moment? Have they done anything lately to make you SUPER PROUD? You are welcome to brag in the comments. Just for today.

 

 

Seven on Sunday

• Sjoe. I have been BUSY! I actually need to write a post on that busy-ness. It doesn’t make me happy. I find it easy to take timeout and have downtime and I REALLY hate being busy, especially with things that I don’t particularly enjoy.

• The past two weeks have been all about Child1, tests in all subjects, projects, speech prep and practice and Afrikaans mondeling prep and practice.  I was hardcore and I PUSHED him. He didn’t fight me. Maybe because he knew he had no choice in the matter. He actually  thrived. I am knackered. Because pushing your kid actually takes a lot of YOUR time and is exhausting. My BB status last week was Moeg Perd. Or rather Tired Horse. Thankfully this round of tests will finish up on Wednesday and then we can all breathe again for a bit.

• In the meantime, Child2 appears to have forgotten that one actually needs to do ones business IN THE TOILET. He seems to prefer the yard and all these other odd places. I think he’s missing me a lot. I haven’t really spent a lot of time with him these past 2 weeks. I tried to have alone time with him yesterday but we both fell asleep. LOL…does that count? I am planning to fetch him early one day this week and will take him to the park or something. Btw…do you know how hard it is to have Mommy and Me time with a kid who doesn’t really do conversations? Pffft.  I will continue to try to believe that we’ll get there.

• Yesterday afternoon my DH took Child2 to a B-Day party so that Child1 and I could do Maths.  My DH says he was anti-social and refused to take part in party games. He preferred to play with the chickens, jump on the trampoline and hog the cake table. I feel I must phone the B-Day girl’s mom to apologise because quite honestly I am mortified! My DH is completely unperturbed  by it all. Is this a male/female thing? He says that the Mom was very cool about it all (her daughter is in Child2′s class and so she knew what to expect) and that at least our child didn’t meltdown and perform like one of the other kids! Oy.

• Added to all this I have had the worst PMS EVER! I wrote about 12 blog posts this week. All fueled by PMS. Fortunately I was too busy with Child1 to get onto WordPress so I have spared you all that angst and emotional drama. Eish. I need to get this pesky period done away with ASAP. 

• I won tickets to a Stars Workshop  off this blog. Btw…that happens to be one of my favourite blogs at the moment. I will do a post later this week and link some new blogs that I discovered in the last couple of months.  Anyway, the workshop took place yesterday and was fun! Exactly what I needed.  I took a good friend along and we had a GREAT time connecting.

• Our neighbour woke us this morning at 8am with warm koeksisters (or koesiesters as we say in coloured country) which we had for breakfast with tea. Isn’t that just divine of her? Most of my Sunday was spent in bed though. We were out of the house at 9:15am this morning. We visited MIL and then my Dad and were back home by 11am. I then got into bed and stayed there up until about an hour ago. Right now the kids are bathed and fed and I’m doing a quick tidy-up before I get back into bed with Rose who I’ve really been neglecting of late.

How are  you and how was your weekend?

This week promises to be easier than the last few and I plan to READ A LOT!

What does your week look like?

 

Divine weekends and a touch of Sunday night blues

So as soon as I complained about the lack of homework in Child1’s life we got inundated with it!

Sjoe. Lesson learnt.

This weekend was a busy one. Good busy.

My Friday included working Child2 on 2 subjects that he’s writing this coming week. As well as tidying up and doing laundry. It ALSO consisted of wedding preparations for the Saturday: hair, eyebrows and nails. Needless to say I got to bed VERY late.

Saturday morning we dropped the kids super early, went out for breakfast, went to Sally and Yme’s wedding (it was a fun, fun, FUN wedding and so very moving – one that I won’t forget for a very long time – you can view the pics over here) and then had some beach time and a bit of an impromptu photo shoot. And then we got home and got into MORE schoolwork. Another 2 subjects of work (also to be tested this week) plus practice for a school speech tomorrow.  I was KNACKERED.

Here’s a pic that my DH took of me at our impromptu photo shoot. I LOVE it!

 

 

 

 

 

Today was pretty easy. Church, visiting the parents and MORE schoolwork. Revision of four subjects, speech practice, mondeling practice and a bit of work on a project due this Friday. Sjoe. My poor child is exhausted.  I gave him a lot of breaks and treats in between but I REALLY worked him hard this weekend. We did a lunch-time braai as well which was lovely.

My DH and I were going to sleep out after the wedding and at the last-minute I panicked and told him that we can’t because Child1 has WAY TOO MUCH school work to get through. Unfortunately he DOES need to be managed. He’s in bed now. After I made him practice the speech another 3 times. Poor kid.

So yes. That’s my weekend. I’m having a spot of the Sunday Night Blues but this lovely wine that I’m having while I type up this post is helping TONS!

How are you? How was your weekend? What are looking forward to this week?

The paper wastage kills me!

I told Child1 earlier that I am going to find a way to get myself onto the governing body at his school (even if I must rig those elections) and I’m going to make it my business to STOP paper wastage in its tracks!

Because really, my 2^nd pet peeve (after food wastage) is paper wastage.

Every Single Day we get a notice from the school. A notice printed on a piece of paper.  A notice that Child1 can technically write in his homework diary which I am required to check and sign every day. A notice which can technically be emailed or even sent via the group text messaging system thing that THEY DO HAVE!

In addition to this we STILL get a weekly newsletter. No, I don’t know why they don’t email it to us – I wish they would. MOST of these little daily notices are REPEATED in the newsletter. AND I get a school fees statement every month. In HARD COPY.  Really now. In 2013 you STILL need to stay in touch with me at the expense of a tree or 500?

And then, I was thinking about the fact that most of Child1’s schoolwork consists of worksheets that need to be completed. These worksheets then get pasted into the notebook. There is (as far as I can tell) VERY little actual handwriting taking place. Which bothers me A LOT.

I remember writing scores of notes off a blackboard/overhead projector when I was at school.  It’s how I learned to write fast. It’s how I learned to summarise facts and use keywords. It’s how I learned to mind map. These are ALL skills that one requires to be able to manage on your own in a tertiary education environment.

These days, everything is a worksheet and you are basically required to complete the worksheet.  No wonder the handwriting NEVER improves and MOST of them end up needing OT!

They simply don’t get enough chance to actually WRITE the old-fashioned way, using an actual pen and paper.  At some point ALL the schools are going to insist that  kids have ipads so even LESS handwriting will take place.

It’s  no wonder they get to High School and don’t finish an exam paper in time because all that handwriting is SURE to kill you if you are not used to it. It’s no wonder they struggle to answer questions that require an essay as the answer.  Seriously. I actually need to write another post on things I discovered last year when I was helping Child1 to study for his exams.

I have to say that I don’t have the same problem with Child2’s school. There is a message book – they use this to record/communicate a lot of information and EVERYTHING (including fortnightly newsletters and monthly statements) gets emailed. If you don’t want to receive notices or statements via email then you can approach the school PA and she will see to it that you get your notices in hard copy.

Do the schools that your kids attend also abuse the kindness of the poor trees and send you unnecessary pieces of paper that can be emailed to you? Is it just Child1’s school?

What do you do with all those notices? 

I immediately transfer the necessary information ( IF there is even info that applies to us! Can you see how this breaks my heart? Most of the time the notices don’t even apply to us!) onto the planner and depending on my mood, I will either DUMP it or I may keep it for Child2 to use as scrap for drawings.

ps…CT is HOT and I am MELTING. I hope that Jhb heatwave doesn’t come this way.

 

Humpity Hump!

So far my week has been hectic and has included Neuro appointments, banking business, vitamin shots and school meetings. And  it’s only Wednesday!

Anyway. I thought I’d provide a few updates!

• I got a call this past Friday from a school that has Child2 on their waiting list. It’s a school for kids on the Autism Spectrum. They wanted me to bring him in for an assessment/interview. I couldn’t make the assessment as we had a prior appointment that couldn’t be moved, and the receptionist then told me that she would possibly only call me later this year.  To be honest, I was relieved that we couldn’t go and I told her that I was happy for her to do that. Child2 is doing really well at the moment and I’m happy with where he is.  I’ve had lots of time in the last while to think about schooling solutions for Child2. My DH and I have gone back and forth on this and we’ve made a few decisions. I’ll write about my thoughts on this matter tomorrow.

 

• I saw Child2’s non-private Neuro on Monday and we talked about my feelings about future schooling. She understood exactly where I was coming from and she promised to support me no matter what I decided, as long as I went into situations with my eyes wide open. Have I mentioned how much I LOVE her? I always go with a long, long list of VERY technical questions and she manages to fly every time. She KNOWS her stuff and this reassures me A LOT.  We have an appointment with our Private Neuro in April and I will talk to Dr S some more about this.

 

• I am LOVING spending time with my extroverted friend. We really  are having soooo much fun!

 

• This past weekend my DH was away and I had to pull the car into the driveway at night (which I NEVER do btw).  I managed to scratch the side of the car against the wall! I thought that he would be livid but he missed me sooooo much that he was fine with it! The kids and I had a lovely time at home and I got soooo much done which PROVES that he is the main distraction in my life.

 

• I am a bit unimpressed with Child1’s school at the moment. His teacher is having a baby in June and goes off in May. She informed us in our meeting that her pregnancy is considered to be high risk and she even highlighted all the reasons why this is the case. I hope and pray that nothing unexpected happens before that – for hers and her baby’s sake and selfishly,(yes!)  for the sake of my Child as well.  Fact is, the school knew last year that she was going to be having a baby this year.  Why they left her in Grade 7 (i.e. a BIG school year with MANY expectations) and couldn’t move her to a lower grade just for this year is beyond me. I know that these things happen (really, I’m not angry at her for being pg as has been suggested) and that it’s not the ideal situation even for kids in a lower grade but it is even less ideal in the final year of a kids life at primary school. Am a bit annoyed at the planning to be honest.  I tried to get them to move him to another class but apparently it’s rocket science so we’ll have to live with it.  My DH and I are talking about what we can do to make this easier somehow.

 

• Anxiety seems to be making a very regular appearance in my life. My AD’s have always managed this but lately they seem to be making very little difference to this part of my life. I am not keen to go and have my dosage adjusted but it looks like I’m going to have to go that route – I need to think some more about how I’m going to fix this. I can no longer live with sweaty palms and my heart beating LOUDLY out of my chest and my stomach permanently being in a knot. Goodness me, I even want to smoke!  It’s officially started to affect my life. That’s not on and I won’t tolerate it. My peace needs to be restored ASAP.

 

• THIS BBM between my (childless) friend and I made me sooooo happy today. I literally could not stop smiling.

Friend L:  I was telling my mom what a great mother u are
Julia:  Oh please! Don’t be silly.
Friend L:  Told her your children very well mannered!! Even though Joel struggling with speech he still has to know his pleases and thank yous!
Friend L:  U have a lot of challenges most ppl don’t have to deal with, but u doing an awesome job just in case u sometimes doubt it
Julia:   Thank you.  X

That’s it for the moment.  I feel like taking a sick day later this week just so I can rest and get my brain to go a little bit quiet. A yoga session and an ocean swim won’t be bad either. Think I need to make that happen ASAP.

How are you doing on this hump day? Any tips to deal with anxiety?

To disclose or not to disclose

I find myself in a bit of a predicament. A catch-22 situation if I can call it that.

I am considering a few different possibilities for Child1 for High School next year.  His current school does have a High School option and I suspect that we’ll probably end up sending him there, but I’m of the opinion that one needs to look at ALL the options.  Deep down, I’m not that keen on that particular High School.

Child1 is currently in a class of 12. He THRIVES in a smaller environment and due to  this factor, I can’t send him to just any school – he would never cope. Even a class of 20 kids would disadvantage him, so I’ve had to think very carefully about WHERE I can send him. Technically, I would need to send him into a private school environment for the class sizes etc but I am not financially able to manage that.  In addition to this, I am not considered poor enough to apply for a bursary for him.

There are one or two other schools that would be happy to accept him but they don’t go all the way to Matric which means that I’ll be hunting for a school for him again within the next 2 years – not very practical.

So I decided on a particular school that I drive past every day. I checked them out online and I liked what I saw – they appeared to fit all the criteria and it seemed that the environment would be just right for him. When I called them this morning they were eager for me to come for a visit to check out the environment and to start the enrollment process for next year. Then I mentioned (casually) that he has ADHD and the tone of the conversation changed. I was told that they don’t accept *children like that* because apparently none of their teachers are equipped to deal with *children like that*.

I won’t lie. I did go a bit nuts over the phone. Because I was angry that they hadn’t even met my child yet and had no idea of his capabilities and yet, they judged him based on a label. A label that they clearly know very little about. I do not believe for one minute that there is not a single other child in their environment with ADHD. Anyway, while I was initially very sad and upset about it, I’m OK now and I won’t make a scene about it (I’ve been told that I can apparently report them)  – I’ll just tell everyone I know where to NOT send their kids.

I eventually did find another school for him. Unfortunately AT THIS MOMENT we can’t afford it so I won’t be going for that option but I have decided that this school will be PERFECT for Child2. I called them up, we spoke, I disclosed his issues, a few questions were asked about the extent of his issues and what I was currently doing about it, and I got sent the forms.  I’ll spend the weekend getting the rest of his enrollment pack together and by the end of next week, he’ll be on a waiting list for Grade4.

The thing that has been on my mind all day has been the subject of disclosure.

See, if I DO disclose that he has ADHD, then I may be putting him in a situation where he gets judged or where assumptions are made about him  before people meet him. That is REALLY not fair to him. I am not comfortable with people making up their minds about him before actually being a witness to his awesomeness.  Child1 is medicated and has been undergoing various therapies for a few years. He gets good marks and is a regular kid who pushes boundaries whenever he gets the chance. He doesn’t bounce off the walls and although he has some “habits” (some of which may be similar to those of the average pre-teen) that we are working on, he absolutely doesn’t stick out like a sore thumb.  Believe me, if I didn’t tell you that Child1 had ADHD ,you wouldn’t know. As he gets older, he learns to manage himself a bit better and I have no doubt that he will be just fine for him as an adult.

On the other hand, if I DON’T disclose, then there is a GREATER chance of him being given opportunities. The playing field is levelled and ZERO assumptions would be made about WHO he is. No labels would be assigned to him and people wouldn’t have “less” of an expectation from him because of this label.

However, it doesn’t sit right with me to NOT disclose. It feels dishonest. It’s essentially lying by omission. If he was diabetic or epileptic or asthmatic I wouldn’t think twice about disclosing it.  There would be no shame, and no assumptions would be made. If I don’t disclose then it feels like I am hiding it. It feels like I am somehow ashamed of it. And it feels like I’m sending him a message that HE should be ashamed of who he is. This is NOT what I want for him but I ALSO don’t want him to be given less opportunity to shine because of people’s preconceived ideas about him and this label. I don’t want him to somehow believe that because of this label, he has the right to NOT work as hard because people have less expectations from him.

Do you see my predicament? Do you see the catch-22 that I find myself in?

Because of WHO I am and because of WHAT I stand for,  I probably will continue to disclose and IF people do not want to accept my child for who he is then they do not deserve a place in our lives. Period.

There is so much more that I can say about this but those are posts for another day.

Tell me this:

Do you believe that I should disclose this or not? What would you do in my situation? 

Would you have an issue with your child being in a class with a child who has ADD/ADHD or Autism or Down’s Syndrome?  If so, why? No judgies from me. I’m just curious.

Don’t you just love made-up words?

I had quite an OK weekend. How about you?

I didn’t run because I was feeling a bit under the weather so I ended up spending a lot of te weekend indoors with Rose. It was marvelous and just what the Dr ordered. Yesterday I had lunch with my parents and ended up staying there all afternoon until we came home last night to get ready for school today.

I did manage to organise a summer uniform and some necessary (extra) stationery for Child1.

Must say that there is a MASSIVE difference in traffic when it’s school holiday. I’m thinking that we should introduce a system where kids can fly to school rather than have their parents drive them? Would make life so much easier for those commuting on the roads.  What do you think?

Anyway.

This morning Child1 walked into the bathroom while I was busy putting on my face. So we had this conversation:

Child1:  “Mommy, I think my voice is PUBER-TATING.”

Me: (trying not to look shocked) “Puber-tating? is it sore?”

Child1: “No, not actually”

Me: “Could it not be a post-nasal drip that is making you croak? I also croak when I get up in the mornings. And Daddy. I am sure that if we listen carefully then we’ll also hear your brother croaking when he wakes up”

Child1: “No, Mommy, I think my voice is PUBER-TATING”

Me: “I see. Should I get you something for it? Maybe some Halls?”

Child1: “You could get me some smarties.”

ME: “OK. I’ll get some later on.”

Child1: gets distracted by something else and walks away.

I just LOVE this word “puber-tating”. I told them in the office about the conversation and they laughed and laughed and laughed.

I was reading this post that Marcia wrote last week and I saw in the comments that one of the readers used the word “frivoulosity”

I LOVE it!

Have you or your kids come up with any made-up words lately? Do share?

Btw…I DID get him the smarties that he asked for. And this evening he is still croaking. There are no other symptoms so I am not sure if this is really pubertation or if it could be a case of laryngitis? And Marcia, I bought some gel pens too! Can’t wait to see if 0.7 is THE ONE.

It’s your birthday!

Dear Joshua aka Child1

Yesterday your Dad and I made a decision on your behalf  – a decision that upset you a bit.

Every single decision that we have ever made for you has been 100% in your best interests. Your Dad and I look at various factors and then we look at WHO you are as an individual.  We know you soooo well and we have a pretty good idea of HOW you will cope or react to things. We know exactly what you are ready for. We are continuously thinking  about the fact that we are raising tomorrow’s man. Not for us, but for the world. I’m essentially preparing you to be someone’s husband, sad but true. We think about the type of family we want to have. And from there on it’s usually easier for us to make whatever decisions we need to make for you or your brother.

You stood up for yourself and told us why you felt we were wrong. I LOVED watching you express yourself and to be honest, (even though I couldn’t tell you this) I was sooooo proud of you. You are truly passionate when you believe in something. And do you know what? It is exactly this passion that will take you places. It is this passion that you have that will help you to make things happen. It is this passion that will set you apart from your peers.

I LOVE that you listened and even though it frustrated you tremendously, you were prepared to trust your Dad and I.

I have actually been a bit emotional all day. I think about the night you were born and I am moved to tears. I STILL can’t believe that it was love at first sight for me.  Your Dad and I literally could not stop staring at you and I still can’t properly put those feelings into words.

Did you know that was the only time I ever had a love-at-first-sight experience?  I didn’t even have that with your Dad!

I was also thinking today about where you are in your life at this point.  At the moment reading and gaming and computers and internet and Judo and drawing are all the rage with you. You don’t seem to be brand-conscious (and I hope that it stays that way for a long, long time) and you LOVE your Dad’s 80s tunes. You are the only kid I know who LOVES Depeche Mode. And the Pet Shop Boys. And Aha. I LOVE that you don’t care what your peers think about your musical taste.

You are always very concerned about your brother and his issues and you get sooooo excited with us when he reaches a new milestone. I LOVE that you are not “too cool” for that.

You still instinctively reach for my hand when we cross the road. I LOVE that. I know it won’t last forever but I am savouring it for as long as I can.

You LOVE to look after me and your brother and your Dad when we are sick. Always bringing us tea and toast and a blanket and water.  Even when I’m sitting on the couch being lazy you will find a way to make me more comfortable. I LOVE that about you.

You are ALWAYS respectful to adults and I LOVE that despite all the labels that the medical fraternity attach to you, I have only ever received positive behavioural reports about you.

To be honest, I could not have asked for a better oldest boy.

I hope that this is the year that you will make MANY friends. I know that it is something that you are currently struggling with but I have prayed for FANTASTIC and awesome quality friends for you. Hang in there sweetheart. It will come.  I promise.

I hope that this is the year that you will come into your own.

I hope that this is the year that you will just be sooooo happy all the time and laugh and laugh and laugh.

I hope that you NEVER lose the essence of who you are. I hope that you will always try to remain an individual and true to yourself.

And I hope that you will always remember that you really are the coolest, bestest oldest boy in the world.

I love you so very much.

Mommy