Last week I went to Child1’s school to tidy out and organise his locker.
I know you may be saying that this is ridiculous but trust me, when you have a kid with ADHD it’s actually necessary. And oh. The stuff that came out of that locker! It’s like a whole new planet in there.
I’m going to be doing this weekly for the foreseeable future and I do know that at some point he will be embarrassed by his Mommy coming to clean out and organise his locker. I have no issues with this. In fact, I’ll be using it as fuel – we ARE going to conquer the things that he struggles with and if I have to embarrass him in the process then I’ll do that. Sorry for him!
Anyway. While we were busy doing this, a number of his teachers walked past and chatted to me and gave me feedback. Of course I loved this, because in High School they keep you at arm’s length.
At some point the Afrikaans teacher walked up to me and we chatted a bit. She started to talk about an assignment that they received the previous week where they had to write a story. I mentioned that , yes I was aware of what she was referring to and as far as I knew it had already been handed in.
She then mentioned that she could see that there was input from me. I responded and said that yes, there was input from me. Child1 wrote his own story and I edited it. I didn’t change the essence of the story or add any new words. I merely made him fix things like tenses and punctuation etc.
Then she asked me very nicely to please never do that again. I was mortified!
She was really sweet about it and told me that it happens more regularly than one would realise and that it was difficult for her to see Child1’s true ability if I was editing his work. I do agree with her. But I was mortified!
She told me that she would be giving him a blank page on the Monday so that he could re-do his own story. I love that she did this. And I actually decided that I really like her. She seems to be paying attention to Child1’s actual capabilities which in my book is AWESOME.
She did tell me that he’d done really well on a test that they had done the previous day. I suspect that she saw how mortified I was and tried to make me feel better. I did feel better.
So this evening there was Afrikaans homework. I had a look at it, made him toss it in the bin and insisted that he redo it because it was untidy. I am hardcore like that. Judge at your peril.
When he had “cleaned” it up, I saw ALL THE ERRORS. I twitched. A LOT. My breathing became shallow. I asked him if he was happy with his work and whether he could say with 100% certainty that this was his very best effort. He responded that he was cool with everything. I then made him put it in his bag.
It took EVERY bit of self-control that I had not to edit his work. It was VERY hard to walk away. But I did it.
How much involvement do you have in your kids homework? Do you help with research? Do you check and sign-off? Do you edit stuff that needs editing?
I DO edit. OK. As of last week I don’t do it anymore. But a lot of the time (when it comes to projects/research etc) then I provide guidance and I make sure that the tools are available. Child1 does his own stuff.
How far do you go? How far did your parents go with you when you were at school?