Mixed-up sweet bags and the week ahead

My weekend was a kind of like a mixed-bag of sweets.

Some of the sweets were delicious and chocolatey and gooey, like those ones that you want to eat forever and ever. Other sweets in the weekend bag were those sour hard-boiled ones that just won’t dissolve no matter how much you suck on them! The ones that burn your mouth and your nose and your eyes and just burn burn burn. I often wonder about those sweets. Why are they called sweets if they are bitter and sour and not actually  sweet?

Friday evening we had a family meeting. My in-laws got together to discuss the way forward with MIL. It was a bit painful for my poor DH (I felt bad for him) but he heard what he needed to hear and he took it in his stride.

My Saturday was lovely – I spent it with some divine women, and in the evening,  my DH, the kids and I all crawled into our big bed (nice and early) with our books and a few snacks.

My Sunday was quite draining, mainly because I spent it with my in-laws. I guess that’s why it was draining. My DH and I finished a bottle of wine when we got home. We were drowning our sorrows and celebrating our progress at the same time. Kind of a happysad situation.

BUT.  At least we made progress with MIL, and all that we can do now is to maintain the boundaries that have been set (which we will do) and take it from there.

I have learned this weekend that old people are damn hard work. And that if I should ever be in a situation where I need to remarry (goodness me, I really hope NOT), then I will make sure that I stay at least 1500km away from my in-laws.

My DH and I  (over our bottle of wine last night) actually googled  retirement villages for the two of us because we really cannot see ourselves draining our kids. So far, this is our favourite one – it’s right by the beach. I wonder if they have a waiting list that we can put ourselves on?

Anyway. I am looking forward. And upwards. I feel strangely positive and even upbeat. And alive. Yes, I know that sounds very weird.

And so this week, I have some things planned that I really need to finish, which is good. Distractions are good sometimes.  This is what I have planned:

• Project Assistance for Child1 – project due on Friday – the written part is all done, we want to finish the practical part by Wednesday latest.
• Touch base with Child2’s teacher – she needs to give me certain feedback in order for me to make a decision – I am seeing her on Wednesday.
• Check what clothing my kids have for winter and make lists of any winter clothing that I may need to buy for them – I hope to do this on Thursday.
• Clean my desk that is currently looking like a pigsty – I am doing this right now!
• Return ALL paper books to shelf. There are a number of them ALL OVER MY HOUSE at the moment. I have no idea how that happens – I rarely read paper books these days – this is a job for tomorrow evening,  although I’ve started to make Child2 collect the books that are not on the shelf. He is LOVING this little job at the moment.

How are you doing?

Did you have a good weekend?

How are relations with your in-laws at the moment?

When last did you have a happysad situation?

What’s on your to-do list this week?

Tuesday: this and that

• I have a lot of things on my mind at the moment. When I try to write about them though, then the words just don’t sound right. Right now there are 9 half-written posts in my drafts folder. My plan is to take a few days and then try again – hopefully my brain will have settled by the end of the week.

• I had a lovely weekend. On Saturday I went wine tasting with 2 of my favourite girlfriends. Lots of laughs and connection and wine and chocolate and divine food. Was sooooo good for the soul.  My DH and I were meant to do something on Sunday. It didn’t work out and we ended up staying home which, in hindsight, was a good thing. Did you have a good weekend? 

• MIL has made a remarkable recovery and only her speech remains a (slight) issue. However, she is not being a very nice person at the moment. She’s very nasty towards her caregivers (who btw are FANTASTIC with her and make me realise that I will never be a Florence and that it’s no use fighting it) and is spreading all kinds of stories to the neighbours if she doesn’t get her own way. Only my DH and I are her favourites. I really don’t want to be her favourite – it’s too much pressure. This past weekend I was talking to my friend and I suddenly twigged that my MIL is depressed. It all became clear after that and I could see all the signs which, truthfully, have been there for quite some time. My DH and I spoke about it and he agrees but we have no idea what to do next. She’s a proud woman and would NEVER admit to being depressed. Any ideas on how to go forward with this? How would you deal with your parent if you were in this situation? 

 

• I was fascinated by the comments on this post. Doesn’t it just suck that we only realise certain things when we are adults? And that more often than not, the realisations only take place in the rooms of a therapist?  In my life, the issue stems from the fact that I am the oldest child and therefore more independent. My parents trusted me enough to just get on with it. They do love feeling needed and she was more needy than I was. Also, she’s extroverted (the opposite of who I am) and funny and therefore people are naturally drawn to her.  Which really is fine. I am completely OK with it but, like Sharon, it does affect me in that I never feel like I truly fit in anywhere.  My sister is a fabulous person and I love her a lot. We are working on our relationship (remember I wrote earlier this year about breaking up with my siblings?) and things are improving between us which makes me really happy.

• I just got back from an enjoyable evening at Craft Group. I am currently knitting a grey headband. The plan is to crochet a little flower or two to stitch onto said headband. I have tried to crochet before and was largely unsuccessful because I just cannot seem to hold that needle properly. I think with my knitting brain and  I need to put my knitting brain in the box and channel my crochet brain. Anyway. I’m going to give the crochet one last shot before I completely give up on it. When last did you try something completely new? Especially something that the rest of the world finds so easy??? And what are you currently creating?

 

• School started up again yesterday and I have to say that it went well, despite the fact that we had to get up an hour earlier to be on time. It wasn’t easy to get to school though because it was raining. I don’t know if you know this but, here’s a not-so-secret-fact: CT drivers have no idea what to do when it rains. They freak out, even when it’s only a few drops. Fortunately both kids were in a really good mood so there was much singing going on in the car. We are on Queen’s We are the Champions at the moment.

 

 

• I checked my calendar and I see that I have 2 socials this weekend. Oy. How did I manage to do that? I obviously wasn’t thinking. Child1 has a project due on Monday which means that we need to get it done by Friday which means that this first week of school is going to be a busy one. No easing into it around these parts.  In fact, I’m seeing Child1’s teacher next week and I spent some time today making up a (long) list of questions for her. How did your first day of term 2 go? 

That’s all I have from these parts at the moment. How are you? How was your Tuesday?

Easter Weekend = Happiness

Well, hello there.  Feels like it has been forever since I blogged!

I have had such a divine weekend with my little family. We absolutely needed this time together after the past few hectic weeks.

I have said before that the Easter weekend is my most favourite holiday – it still is, for more reasons than one. I think I may like it more than Christmas time – there isn’t that build-up and mad rush and stress to get everything done like there usually is before Christmas. And we usually get the first rains of the season. Seriously. If you are a tourist, don’t come to CT at the Easter weekend if it’s sun and beaches that you want.  It doesn’t happen in these parts  – it ALWAYS rains on our Easter weekend and this weekend was no different.

This weekend was all food and family and books and chocolate and movies and knitting and puzzles and so many other cool things.

A few updates:

Child2 who hates little yapping dogs actually conquered his fear this weekend and it was so sweet to see. If you are my FB friend, then you’ll see a picture of him chatting to my cousins little dog.  Go look!

Today we had a spontaneous outing with the kids. We went for breakfast and ended up at a diner kind of place. IT was really cool.  They play music from the 50s!  I LOVE 50s music. Do you? It makes me feel happy and like I should be dancing. I should get some more for at home.

After breakfast we decided to do an impromptu movie (do you know how big this is for us?) and took the kids to see The Croods. It was a sweet, funny movie and I would actually recommend it. This is only the 2^nd time that I’ve taken Child2 (I wrote about our first experience here) and he coped really well! Way better than the last time I took him. My DH and I were so proud of him.  When we walked out of the movie theatre I felt even more proud of him. He said: “Mommy Mommy Mommy, I need to go home now”. Don’t you just love that he can recognise when things are starting to get too much for him? We left immediately and as soon as we arrived home he jumped straight into the bath! It felt AWESOME to feel like a normal family for a change. Gosh, it’s been so long since I felt that!

And so tomorrow it’s back to work for my DH and I. Both kids are sorted – Child1 goes to aftercare and Child2 still has school.

Oh, and a miracle happened! I am thrilled. My MIL decided (before my DH could have the conversation with her) that she preferred to stay in her own flat. Said it was more comfortable for her and that her flatmate and my SIL were being excellent nurses to her. There are not enough words in the Oxford Dictionary to describe how this bit of news just THRILLED me. We popped around at her place yesterday before we went for lunch and she thanked me for supporting her the way I have.

Right now, my kids are in bed and I’m off to bed too. I am starting a new book (which is always exciting) and my DH wants us to watch series. Need to decide what will happen first. I think it will be the book.

I hope that you’ve had a fantastic Easter weekend? What did you get up to?

Have a fantastic week ahead. Xx

Ps..this post is so all over the place and has way to many exclamation marks!!! I would apologise for that,but at this moment, it actually it works for me.

A post filled with nothing. And everything.

So right now I have three things on my mind. I will elaborate:

Thing 1: My words make me nervous 

I have written 9 blog posts since Monday.  I write early in the morning and late into the night.  I write about my kids and their issues. I write about rape. I write about being judged. I write my perceptions of certain things.  I write about bearing grudges. I write about my feelings on prayer. On church people. On Christians.  I write about money.

I want to publish every single time. And then I am not sure anymore. So I don’t publish. I love the pieces that I have written. I am proud of the pieces that I have written. I believe that the content is really good. But suddenly I just feel weird putting my thoughts out there. I am afraid I will be judged for thinking the way I do. I don’t know why I suddenly care what people think.  Maybe because I was in a situation last week where I had to put up with someone judging me. It affected me. I feel scarred in a way. I feel raw.  I feel self-conscious. I hope this feeling passes. I don’t like it. It feels like I can’t be myself.

 

Thing 2: Child2  

I had Child2 screened for Fragile X syndrome. His tests came back negative and the Neuro doesn’t see the need to put him through any further genetic testing – apparently it will be painful and traumatic for him. Does she really have the right to make that call?  Am I being a cruel mommy to want to put him through that so I can have closure?

On the one hand I am relieved. On the other hand I am a bit frustrated. I know that in life there are not always reasons for things but I had hoped to be able to point a finger at something or have a reason for the ASD.  Just so I could once and for all get some form of closure. Maybe then my DH and I could both accept the situation? Maybe then he will stop saying things like “is this child ever going to come right?”  Alas. I can’t pinpoint anything. It just is the way it is.

And speaking of Child2, I am incredibly frustrated at the moment. According to his teacher everything is fine at school.  I know she’s telling the truth. He’s happy at school.  I must run after him to get a good-bye kiss. He gets excited when we drive into the school’s road in the mornings.

At home he forgets to use the toilet and speaks gibberish all the time.  He refuses to fall asleep.  He does things that he knows he’s not supposed to do. I struggle to discipline him. I wonder if he even understands. He’s not completely getting that every action has a consequence or a reaction. I need to spend more time with him. I want to spend more time with him. I love spending time with him. I hate spending time with him. It is frustrating to spend time with him. I want conversations. I want words. I want engagement. I do not get any of this.

I don’t quite know what is going on with him but I am going to see his therapists next week because it suddenly seems like we are back to square 1.  Is that even possible? Can he just forget everything that he has learned? All the progress that he’s made?  Do you know how my bank balance suffers from all the money that I spend on therapists? Last year I gave him all my energy and in the process, neglected Child1 which in turn had serious consequences. This year I seem to be successful at doing the opposite. I am spending my energy on Child1 because he really needs me right now and in the process Child2 appears to be regressing. I just can’t win and it looks like I’m going to have to quit my job so I can have time for both my kids and their issues. It’s either that or I need to have myself cloned.

 

Thing 3: My DH 

Apparently he is odd. In his brain. I suppose that makes us a perfect match. That’s probably why our kids are also odd. Anyway. He has some big things happening in his life. There are pros and cons. It makes me happy and sad. I feel happysad. Does that make sense? Right now, his head is in the clouds and I’m humouring him. I can’t give more detail than that right now. Hopefully soon.

How are you on this Thursday? What’s on your mind today? Have you ever felt happysad about something?

Escapism and the week ahead

So I had a seriously divine weekend.

It consisted of some socialising with SIL and her friends, beach swimming that left me feeling exhilarated and pumping with endorphins, playing with kids, visiting my parents, movies (I watched The Notebook and DID NOT CRY – could there be something wrong with me?), a trip to Wellington (about 100km away) and a divine braai and some more swimming with Leigh-Ann and her beautiful family. I am usually nervous to take Child2 to new people because of the fact that he’s so unpredictable, but he was just fine and we had a lovely afternoon.

I got into bed last night and had plans to read but I was completely knackered and fell asleep after about 5 minutes.  I was out cold by 21:10.

So yes, it was a BEAUTIFUL weekend.

Pure escapism from reality. I did not go onto SM (OK, I did just a bit – 10 minutes max for the entire weekend broken up into 3 little snippets), I did not read a single news report, I did not listen to any radio, I read only  2 blog posts so have loads of reading and comment catch-up lined up over the next day or so.  But seriously though. The silence and the lack of noise and the peace and the feelings of pure bliss that I experienced =  simply out of this world. I need to get back into NOT using SM on the weekends. I’m currently not there on during office hours so I know that it can be done.

This week I look forward to seeing Rodriguez whose music my DH introduced me to when we met.  Am too excited about this!

Child1 has a few projects coming up and so I’m going to have to spend a bit of time assisting him.

I have catch-up/goal setting sessions with all of Child2’s therapists.

AND my DH and I will be attending a wedding this coming weekend.  It’s a bit of a distance from where we live  so we’ll be sleeping out. Am excited about MORE adult time.

My Monday was a bit of a killer and I’m really thrilled to be home right now. Am off to bed in a minute or so.  Child1 and I are doing projects in my bed. Not ideal but right now it’s the only way I can help him.

How was your Monday?

Did you have a good weekend?

What’s on your agenda for week 8/52?

 

 

Thursday: this and that

• I am home today with a tummy bug. It’s the first time in YONKS that I stay out of work for anything other than a chest issue. Not sure if I should be proud of that or what. Actually it does make me a bit happy in a weird sort of way.

 

• I found a really nice church that I like. I don’t quite know if I should stop looking and just stay there or what. Need to think about this some more. Do you normally continue to look even if you find something that you like or do you just stop right there with the search?

 

• There is someone in my life who is quite needy. I don’t do needy very well – this is why I can’t have anymore kids. I have spoken to the person about this and it would seem like I’m going to need to go hardcore. Do you do needy very well? If so, how? Because really, I ALREADY have kids!

 

• This past weekend I got a bee in my bonnet. I decided to home school Child1 for High School and I was googling myself into a frenzy to find a home school curriculum  Alas, there is NO WAY that I can do it. We need two incomes in our family and to be honest, I haven’t found many great blogs of Moms who homeschool high schoolers.  I am not sure I feel confident enough to pull this one off. So yes, he’s going to school.  Even though I KNOW that home schooling him would be best.

 

• It has been SUPER HOT in CT these past few days. I just about coped but it was NOT easy.

 

• I looked at my calendar last night and decided that my weekends were just too busy for this month. So I cancelled/postponed EVERYTHING that was happening on a Sunday because I really do need to have my Sundays free to rest and read and watch series and generally be all lazy and sloth-like.

 

• I have a wedding to attend on 23/02 and it’s quite far from where I stay. My DH suggested that I book a B&B close by so we could relax afterwards (it’s a family friendly, morning wedding) and sleep over. We decided to leave our kids at home and I am rather looking forward to this kid-free time with my Boyfriend!  There’s a pool at the venue so I may even swim afterwards! Am looking for a place to sleepover as I type this up

 

• Right now, I’m getting back into bed with Rose. Despite the fact that I am feeling a bit on the terrible side, I have LOVED having hours to just read.

How are you and how’s your day going? What does your weekend look like? My Saturday is chock-a-block. That’s why I NEED my Sundays to be free.

Humpity Hump!

So far my week has been hectic and has included Neuro appointments, banking business, vitamin shots and school meetings. And  it’s only Wednesday!

Anyway. I thought I’d provide a few updates!

• I got a call this past Friday from a school that has Child2 on their waiting list. It’s a school for kids on the Autism Spectrum. They wanted me to bring him in for an assessment/interview. I couldn’t make the assessment as we had a prior appointment that couldn’t be moved, and the receptionist then told me that she would possibly only call me later this year.  To be honest, I was relieved that we couldn’t go and I told her that I was happy for her to do that. Child2 is doing really well at the moment and I’m happy with where he is.  I’ve had lots of time in the last while to think about schooling solutions for Child2. My DH and I have gone back and forth on this and we’ve made a few decisions. I’ll write about my thoughts on this matter tomorrow.

 

• I saw Child2’s non-private Neuro on Monday and we talked about my feelings about future schooling. She understood exactly where I was coming from and she promised to support me no matter what I decided, as long as I went into situations with my eyes wide open. Have I mentioned how much I LOVE her? I always go with a long, long list of VERY technical questions and she manages to fly every time. She KNOWS her stuff and this reassures me A LOT.  We have an appointment with our Private Neuro in April and I will talk to Dr S some more about this.

 

• I am LOVING spending time with my extroverted friend. We really  are having soooo much fun!

 

• This past weekend my DH was away and I had to pull the car into the driveway at night (which I NEVER do btw).  I managed to scratch the side of the car against the wall! I thought that he would be livid but he missed me sooooo much that he was fine with it! The kids and I had a lovely time at home and I got soooo much done which PROVES that he is the main distraction in my life.

 

• I am a bit unimpressed with Child1’s school at the moment. His teacher is having a baby in June and goes off in May. She informed us in our meeting that her pregnancy is considered to be high risk and she even highlighted all the reasons why this is the case. I hope and pray that nothing unexpected happens before that – for hers and her baby’s sake and selfishly,(yes!)  for the sake of my Child as well.  Fact is, the school knew last year that she was going to be having a baby this year.  Why they left her in Grade 7 (i.e. a BIG school year with MANY expectations) and couldn’t move her to a lower grade just for this year is beyond me. I know that these things happen (really, I’m not angry at her for being pg as has been suggested) and that it’s not the ideal situation even for kids in a lower grade but it is even less ideal in the final year of a kids life at primary school. Am a bit annoyed at the planning to be honest.  I tried to get them to move him to another class but apparently it’s rocket science so we’ll have to live with it.  My DH and I are talking about what we can do to make this easier somehow.

 

• Anxiety seems to be making a very regular appearance in my life. My AD’s have always managed this but lately they seem to be making very little difference to this part of my life. I am not keen to go and have my dosage adjusted but it looks like I’m going to have to go that route – I need to think some more about how I’m going to fix this. I can no longer live with sweaty palms and my heart beating LOUDLY out of my chest and my stomach permanently being in a knot. Goodness me, I even want to smoke!  It’s officially started to affect my life. That’s not on and I won’t tolerate it. My peace needs to be restored ASAP.

 

• THIS BBM between my (childless) friend and I made me sooooo happy today. I literally could not stop smiling.

Friend L:  I was telling my mom what a great mother u are
Julia:  Oh please! Don’t be silly.
Friend L:  Told her your children very well mannered!! Even though Joel struggling with speech he still has to know his pleases and thank yous!
Friend L:  U have a lot of challenges most ppl don’t have to deal with, but u doing an awesome job just in case u sometimes doubt it
Julia:   Thank you.  X

That’s it for the moment.  I feel like taking a sick day later this week just so I can rest and get my brain to go a little bit quiet. A yoga session and an ocean swim won’t be bad either. Think I need to make that happen ASAP.

How are you doing on this hump day? Any tips to deal with anxiety?

This and that

• Child2 has been crying every morning to go back to school.  I have tried to explain to him that school only starts on 16/01 and that his teacher is not there yet. I even (unsuccessfully) attempted to use a calendar for a countdown of sorts. Nothing works. He is inconsolable in the mornings and really doesn’t want to go to Granny. I am at a loss because I really don’t have any other options. I haven’t had to deal with a crying kid in the mornings for AGES and it STILL affects me.  To be honest, Child2 has been struggling A LOT in the last few weeks and I think that it’s the lack of routine. I try to maintain it in the evenings but by then he is so frazzled and nothing I can say or do can calm him and it’s meltdown after meltdown after meltdown. Quite frankly I am exhausted.

 

• Stationery is ready and labelled,  and when we took out the school uniform just now, all the bits were there and intact. However, Child1 grew a shoe size this holiday which means that I have to go and buy school shoes. AGAIN. Ugh. There is nothing I hate more than buying school things for my kids, unless of course it’s stationery. And yes, I know that they need it.   He’s going to need a bag as well. And he’s super fussy about the type of bag that he wants which doesn’t help, even though the one that he wants is actually a very sensible one!

 

• Last week I ended up at a Typo store (btw I had NO IDEA that there was one in Cavendish – was such a nice surprise!)  and saw that there was a sale. I previously went into the Typo store at Canal walk and REALLY was not that impressed to be honest. This time around I was in my element. Everything was just BEAUTIFUL and sooooo pretty and before I knew it, I had TWO armfuls of BEAUTIFUL things. I was about to pay (there was one person ahead of me) and then I decided to leave the stuff. Because I already have LOADS of pretty notebooks and pens and stationery. I decided that I didn’t need to add to all the STUFF in my home space and that I didn’t need to throw out my January budget on an unplanned (and VERY unnecessary) purchase – I really was only going to buy it because I happened to walk past and everything was pretty.  Do you think that I was sensible? Is this a sign of me getting old? I have never ever walked away from pretty stationery in my life!

 

• I was thinking earlier about the fact that I ended up NOT seeing Lady Gaga or Linkin Park last year. I didn’t even buy tickets to see Bon Jovi who will be performing in a few weeks. Being in a crowded stadium filled with teeny-boppers who can’t handle their liquor simply isn’t fun for me. Neither is struggling to find parking. Neither is getting there two hours before the time so I can navigate the crowds. I got VERY spoilt by Grand Arena concerts where NONE of these factors are present. Friend E did ask me if I was OK. I said yes. But now I’m wondering if this is yet another sign of me getting old. I STILL can’t believe that I didn’t go and see Lady Gaga and even worse, that I have no regrets about it.

 

• You know when you talk to someone (kindly) about something that they do that makes you unhappy? And then they become super defensive? And then they stop listening because they are too busy being defensive? Now THAT. I don’t do confrontation and all that I will say is that a particular situation has left me distressed to the point of exhaustion. I am going to have to take a step back from a particular relationship until all parties are calmer and then I will try again. Because this matter WILL be sorted out.

 

• I am starting to exercise this weekend. There is a short run scheduled to get me into it. I was hoping to go and swim tomorrow after work but will have to see what the weather will be like first.

It’s been quite an exhausting week but I know that next week with routine and exercise back where they should be, things will get MUCH easier.

How are you doing? How’s your week been?

 

I go back to work tomorrow

……after a (mostly) divine break. People usually ask me why I always go back on a Friday. It’s because Mondays are generally a shock to my system and even more so when I’ve been away for a bit. We have casual day on a Friday so the environment is more relaxed, there is more laughter and less pretense, there are no meetings, we don’t work ALL DAY LONG or anything and there are drinks after work. It really is the PERFECT day to go back to work. It works out REALLY well for me and I usually use most of the day to catch up on email and prepare for Monday.

I have gone to bed at the most shocking hours these past two weeks so I decided last night to try to reset my body clock and went to bed around 10pm or so. I was up at 5:30am (my DH started today) and I have to tell you that I felt completely KNACKERED today. I had my hair done this afternoon (had to get rid of the big, beach-hair look), got clothing ready and have just finished my nails. It’s off to bed for me any minute now.

I took my kids out for breakfast this morning and while they were in the play area I cried into my coffee a bit at the thought of going back to work tomorrow. THAT is a sign that I need to move on ASAP.

I realised today (actually I’ve always known this, today I managed to verbalise it for the first time) that I lack confidence. I should blog about this.

I also realised today (again, I’ve known this for a long time but finally had the guts to admit it to myself today) that deep down I am afraid of success. I know this sounds weird and yes, it is weird.  I will try to put it into words and will publish a post about this next week.

I am suddenly feeling overwhelmed at the amount of RESTORATION that needs to take place, specifically the restoration WITHIN.

But, I will take things one day at a time. One step at a time. One goal at a time.

I hope though that you’ve had a fantastic Thursday. How was your Thursday?

Please tell me something interesting to take my mind off this a bit?

Cat. Sheep. Cow.

CAT

I always say that in my next life I want to come back as a cat because as far as I am concerned they have the BEST LIVES EVER!

They eat when they want to, they sleep when they want to, they are very clean animals, they can literally lie in the sun ALL DAY LONG and when they want affection then they come and get it.  That sounds quite perfect to me. In fact, if Child1 and I didn’t have these allergies we would probably have a cat as a pet. Alas, it is not meant for us.

SHEEP

The other day my DH told me that one of the reasons he fell in love with me is because I am NOT A SHEEP  even though I am the family black sheep. He found that very attractive and apparently still does. He loved that I never followed the crowd, that I always liked different things and that I was almost anarchist-like and hippy-like in a way.  He LOVED that I was a thinker and a reader and that I formed my own opinions. He’s right actually. That’s exactly who I am. I think it’s why I always struggled with certain relationships. People can’t always cope with DIFFERENT, especially within the coloured community. But, as I get older and I LOVE myself more, I realise that actually, they are missing out. And that’s their choice.

Last night or rather early this morning (I have completely lost track of the time. Lauren, if you are reading this, I am sooooo sorry that I BBMed you at nearly 2am this morning! It really felt like 10pm to me), my friend who I blogged about here and I were having a BBM chat session. She’s single and in the dating game and I must say as much as I enjoy listening to her stories, I am sooooo glad to NOT be dating because I really think that I would battle. Seems like the rules are all so different!

Anyway, she said something very interesting to me. She said that it is her belief that, if I wasn’t married, then I would probably do online dating mainly because of the type of man I’m interested in. I’ve always been into older, nerdy, geeky types. And these types just don’t present themselves in the circles that I’ve always moved in. I did have a good old laugh about it. Because she’s right. I would probably be an online dater. Don’t you just LOVE it when your friends just completely GET WHO YOU ARE? I do! I was thinking about what my DH said about the sheep thing while we were having this conversation and I just couldn’t stop laughing!

COW

Lately I notice that when Child1 is angry with someone then he refers to them as a cow. He’ll say something like “Mommy, x is being such a cow. Can you believe that x did xyz or abc?”. Anyway my DH HATES if he speaks like that. Me on the other hand? I would rather have him refer to someone in that way than call them something starting with an A. So this morning I had “words” with Child2 about something naughty that he did, and of course I showed my angry face and my VERY expressive eyes. He was NOT impressed and ran off crying to my DH and said “Julia is cow!”. I laughed and laughed and laughed. First I work on his nerve and now I AM COW? What next?

How are you doing today? I was meant to go and upgrade my phone today but I am having a lazy day with Rose instead. And I have a late afternoon friend date – my first one this year!

Tell me what animal would you LOVE to be if you had the choice and why?