So. Labels.
I love them and I hate them. They can build. They can break. They can inspire people to want to know more. They can breed ignorance.
I know that people are usually hesitant to “label” their kids as being x or y or ab or gh. I understand why. They don’t want their children placed into boxes, they don’t want to expose their kids to stereotypes. They don’t want to feel like they are somehow placing “limits” on their kids.
I get it. I really do. It is part of my life every single day and it’s for this reason that I took forever to start talking about Child1’s diagnosis. It’s for this reason that even though I am not afraid to talk about it now, I am extremely selective about who I share it with and exactly how much I share. Quite honestly, I don’t want anyone to perceive my son to be “less than”.
Anyway. About the labels.
If it wasn’t for that label then I wouldn’t know that my child thinks differently, why he acts and reacts differently, that has a different learning style that is NOT given the time of day in a regular mainstream school. If it wasn’t for that label my son would still be in a school environment that simply wasn’t suitable for him. If it wasn’t for that label I wouldn’t have made the effort to learn about and to understand why he struggles with certain things that the average tween has under control and I would have assumed that he was just being unfocused and inattentive and hyperactive to irritate living daylights out of me.
So yes, the label does come in handy in certain instances.
And, as you know it can have an extreme opposite effect – I really don’t have to go into any detail about that.
Having said all of this, I am finally at a point where the label truly doesn’t bother me. I AM bothered by the fact that it bothers everyone else.
Because here’s the thing:
I KNOW the truth.
I KNOW who my son is.
I KNOW all about his brilliance and I believe in it 100%.
I KNOW that there is not a single label in the world that can define or limit the essence of who he is.
I KNOW that he is still the same beautiful boy who walked into a Drs room without a label and came out with the label.
I KNOW without a doubt that he is wonderfully and fearfully made.
I KNOW that he is mine.
So true! Labels aren’t necessarily a bad thing especially when they help you to do better
Jules, I have to just say that I am loving this series of posts. I find it amazing that you are willing to give us some insight to this side of your life. Thank you for sharing.
Your children are amazing and so are you.
xxx
So very very well said Julia. I have to echo exactly hwat you say.
I’m desperate for a label.
Something for school and us to work around and understand instead of flailing in the dark. I’m putting a lot of hope into the label being a starting point. Our EEG showed a non-specific cerebral abnormality. It was basically yet another NON-LABEL. The latest psych says almost definitely not dealing with ADD/ADHD but we could be dealing with ODD (oppositional defiance disorder) OCD, anxiety and stress. Ritalin won’t help and neither with Strattera, they will most likely exacerbate. So still no label but at least we’re moving forward (or sideways anyway… i mean, i think we’re moving?). Next step is QEEG. Have you done that? Am very interested to chat to someone who’s done it?
I see so many similarites in how you describe your child and once again I’m really enjoying your sharing and insights, even if J isn’t ADD I think the principles are the similar for how to deal with our ‘different’ children and the impact it has on our lives and theirs.
Great post Julia…it is liberating to be able to embrace the truth and build on what you know. Your son is unique and he was given to you to love and accept without reservation. If it bother others…that is their problem.
I love this: “he is still the same beautiful boy who walked into a Drs room without a label and came out with the label.”
The label does indeed help. It gives you a starting point and it gives you direction. A jar of pickles is after all, still a jar of pickles, with or without a label.
LOVE the jar of pickles analogy. I am soooo going to use it in future!