So you all know that I am not really a dog person. I don’t hate them. I just don’t love them that much. I am not an animal person. Period.
I don’t easily visit people who have dogs unless I know that the dogs are really well-behaved. I understand that dogs are playful and might come up to me to say “hello”, so when I say well-behaved I mean that they won’t jump on me or drool on me or go for my crotch or bite my ankles or whatever.
Now one of my very best friends has a dog. Actually he now has two dogs.
Dog 2 is LOVELY. He’s had her for about 3 months and she’s very sweet and extremely well behaved for a puppy. I make a point of acknowledging her when I visit because she is just sooooo sweet. She doesn’t jump on me when I walk into the house or bite my ankles or anything like that. She’s a proper lady and I actually really like her. A LOT. Enough to babysit her if I need to – not that I would offer my services or anything. If my friend is in a fix then I will watch the puppy for a few hours. That’s all. It is THIS type of puppy that can turn ANY non-dog person (like me) into a proper dog person.
Dog1 is the problem. He is big. And boisterous. And he jumps on me when I enter the house. When my friend serves me tea or wine then he tries to drink it i.e. lick it out of the cup/glass. He even eats my biscuit off the side plate at that moment when I’m not looking!
I love my friend and enjoy spending time with him and we often friend date by taking the dogs for a walk and having coffee in the park while the dogs run around. Btw this is an AWESOME way to friend date. Fresh air, minimal cost and LOTS of talking. Only thing missing is me taking pics of the sights and playful animals. But, that will come in time.
Dog1 really irritates me. He sits on the back seat and will lick (and drool on) my bare shoulder or my neck! – it takes an incredible amount of self-control for me not to react to this – I have to Ujayi breathe my way through it otherwise I really won’t be able to cope. When I have something in my hand (even a magazine!) then Dog1 will try to GET it away from me. Like with his mouth. Yes, he actually wants to bite stuff out of my hand. I don’t know WHAT would make him think that I’m playing that kind of game with him.
He even goes for my crotch! And when I am sitting and doing nothing then he wants to continue to jump on me! I then tell my friend to PLEASE tell his dog to EFF OFF! (I honestly don’t have a nicer way of saying it, because by the time I get to this point then I am slowly losing it and crossing over!) and he calls the dog but then doesn’t follow through with it. I am really stepping out of my comfort zone and putting up with A LOT here.
My friend told me to acknowledge the dog when I visit because maybe this was all that this was about. Maybe the dog has an affirmation thing (Seriously people. My friend even says that the dog has a love language. Do you see why I am losing it?) and if I acknowledge him then he will leave me alone. I really do try. I look at the dog and say: ….”hello (insert dog’s name)”. My friend then said that I must also touch the dog when I greet him. I even do this despite the fact that I don’t touch animals!
I told my friend that I’m not going to be visiting him until this dog stops jumping on me. My friend thinks that I am being very unreasonable because according to the Behavioural Dog Expert Drs, Dog 1 is still learning to integrate.
Hello! Dog 1 is 15 months old already and sees a lot of people – he is DEFINITELY not sheltered (i.e. staying in the house all day) and my friend is VERY good with seeing that he gets walked and exercised.
My friend says that that I am one of the few visitors that he gets and that Dog 1 doesn’t behave like that with anyone else (except him) which to him is a sign that Dog 1 apparently LOVES me and is very comfortable with me. I’m REALLY not convinced.
My friend told me that I should actually turn my body around when the Dog1 does the jumping thing so that he can know that it’s unacceptable. I asked him whether he had tried to do this. He said no. So I told him that he needed to practice the turning around thing with Dog 1 so that the dog could understand it and then, in two weeks I would visit him and assess if I would EVER be going to his house again.
OBVIOUSLY my friend thinks that I am being sooooo unreasonable. He even compared the dog with my kids and asked me how I would feel if he refused to visit me because of my kids! Ugh. He doesn’t get it. I told him that we can’t compare the two situations and actually if my kids annoyed him then I would understand him not visiting because, quite frankly, they annoy me too so I am more than happy to socialise outside of my home away from them.
A few weeks ago I visited my friend Cams who also has dogs. The very first time I visited her the dog jumped on me. I didn’t mind it all that much, I figured that it was the first encounter between me and the dog and that it was to be expected. When I went the next time the dog DID NOT jump on me. And a few hours after that, her friend Renata brought me a piece of paper to wave at the dog in case he decided to perform around me because she was about to feed him. I love love LOVE that there was so much consideration and respect for my feelings.
But now, over to you:
Am I being unreasonable to expect the dog to NOT jump on me ALL THE TIME? Goodness me, SHOULD this dog STILL be jumping on me AFTER MORE THAN A YEAR? Multiple times in one visit? Every single time he sees me? That doesn’t feel right to me. I visit my friend on about 3 times a month on average.
Am I being unreasonable to tell my friend that I won’t visit until he teaches his dog to stop doing this? Even though I really have stepped out of my comfort zone with here?
Have you ever had an animal come between you and a friend?
Would you ever visit a friend who has a “different” kind of animal, like maybe a snake? Because I probably would. As long as it is locked up and out of sight or whatever.
Would YOU step completely out of your comfort zone the way I have in order to maintain a friendship? Because I am starting to think that I have allowed too much here.
Ps…my friend and I spoke about this earlier this week. He is working something out with the dog so I can NOT feel erm upset and leave his place all frazzled.
Pps…I know that many of my readers are dog people. This post is absolutely not meant to offend you. Honestly. I really am an each to his own kind of girl and so if dogs are your thing then I honestly don’t have a problem with that. I am simply not a dog person and you know, despite this, I knitted a scarf for Dog1 on his birthday a few months ago similar to this one.
As a dog lover I’m very upset….. Just kidding. I’ve had at least 2 dogs for the last 8 years and even I can’t stand dogs or pets that jump all over people, which is why I’m not fond of very playful dogs and cats (sorry cat lovers). Some of my friends battle to come to my house, as one friend said my dogs are like horses. I would struggle to visit people wih exotic pets or who let dogs and cats run around their house. Your friend should be able to control his dog to ensure it doesn’t jump on you, don’t think you are being unreasonable at all. You made something for the dog in question
Okay I am LAUGHING at the present for the dog!!!
I am a dog person but don’t have dogs since I refuse to add one more thing to my to-do list (you know that’s how it will go).
I love people who are considerate of others. My one friend has very excitable dogs but she puts them in the back garden when we come over because of the kids.
I don’t think this has to be such a big thing. He needs to keep the dog away. Why can’t he put the dog in the garden when you come over? Maybe say hello (since you’re getting so good at dog whispering – oh I am LOL) and then to the back he goes.
Of course if you have friend dates in the park then you have to put up with the dog being there but he needs to put the dog on a leash and control it.
Marcia, I have asked him this. Apparently there are other dogs on the property and Dog1 will eat up their non-branded food!
-original message- Subject: [Unwritten] Comment: “Friendship Friday: Friends and (jumping) dogs”
okay, he slays me – I think he is hilarious. This is clearly part of his uniqueness
my sister was full of nonsense like this about her dogs………… jack and jesse……….. til she had a real baby and then thankfully she got normal again
You are not being unreasonable! It’s not the dog’s fault – your friend needs to teach him. It takes time and patience, but it works.
As you know, we have 3 dogs. Dogs 1 & 2 are old and although they do jump on visitors, it’s not that bad (they are small) and they listen straight away when I tell them to stop.
Dog 3 is a bloody nightmare and I am often MORTIFIED at his behaviour when we get visitors. Because I TOTALLY understand your point of view!! I TOTALLY understand – I really do. It’s not that you HATE dogs.. you just don’t ‘do’ behaviour like this!! I get it. It irritates me NO END when he does it to me too – and I bloody live with the beast!!
So – you are NOT being unreasonable!!!
The turning around thing DOES work – if it is stuck to and done on a regular basis. We did it with Dogs 1 & 2 – and although they do still jump from time to time, it’s not as bad as it used to be.
Your friend’s dog sounds really rude. I don’t think you’re being unreasonable at all. I happen to like dogs. If it’s just me I don’t mind having them around at all, but when I take Nicola with me it really gets me worked up if someone’s rude mut licks her in the face or tries to jump on her. One of my friends has two dogs exactly like this. I asked her to put them away when we come or otherwise we can only see her at restaurants away from her dogs. It didn’t go down all that well, but I don’t care. If she can’t teach them manners I’m not making it my problem.
Ok so I am a dog person and I have two dogs one of which is a jack russel who LOVES laps and kisses and cuddles and will jump on any lap that is open… That said I am always VERY conscious of this when friends come over and if they don’t like it the dogs get thrown out or reprimanded for bad behaviour immediately (they do normally stop when I tell them to…)
It sounds to me that your friend needs to teach Dog 1 that his behaviour is not correct. In my opinion it is not up to you to teach his dog manners. He is the pack leader, he must send the message to his dog that what the dog is doing is not correct.
I’m glad to hear he’s seen your point and is trying to sort dog 1 out.
xxx
I am a total dog person BUT dogs should be disciplined. Turning your back on them is a trick we were taught at puppy school and it does work – cross your arms and turn away to indecated you are not prepared to interact.
All that being said, some dog races mature later than others – for some it is only at about 18 months (German shepards, labradors etc)
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