I have ALWAYS been attracted to older people. This fact used to on the one hand, reassure my parents and on the other hand, freak them out a bit. I always had older friends and very few friends my age. I had NO friends younger than me.
Now I was a bit of an old soul but as I matured and as people my age have matured it has become easier to be friends with them, regardless of how old they are.
I do find that age is only a number but on the other hand it is so much more.
My 40plus friends are so much more comfortable with who they are. I find that they just get more and more beautiful with age. I find them less judgemental. I find them way more at ease with who they are and with who others are in relation to them. I find them fascinating and wise and quite frankly, just FANTASTIC.
My 30plus friends are kind of where I am in my life with many, many things. They are young-ish parents, they are coming into their own and at this stage there is just SO MUCH in common in terms of the struggles we face.
I have never been able to be friends with younger people until recently. I think it generally had a lot to do with where we were in our lives. Even now, the younger friends that I have are all Moms. And they all seem to be hippies and earth Mommy-types.
I don’t generally need to have a common interest with someone to be their friend, BUT I find that with my 20plus friends, it does come in handy.
I do try not to be conscious of the fact that some of them are “younger” in age and in the last while this is what I’ve learnt about friendship and age:
- Age really is just a number.
- In order for ANY friendship to thrive there needs to be mutual respect and a sincere connection between the parties, regardless of their ages.
- I have limited and closed myself off to MANY friendships over the years because of being “age-ist” and I have missed out on so much!
- Being older doesn’t necessarily mean that someone is more mature. I’ve met some 40year olds who behave like 12 year olds and I’ve met some 22year olds who are just fascinating and dynamic and so, so mature.
- Even though I’m friends with women in their early 20s, I STILL can’t be friends with MUCH YOUNGER women i.e. anyone under 21. It’s just weird for me.
Is age an issue for you when it comes to friendship? Do you gravitate towards older or younger friends? How old is your oldest friend and how old is your youngest friend?
Ps…my oldest friend is 55. I LOVE her. My youngest friend is 24. I LOVE her too!.
Pps..I planned ONE friend date for the month and I didn’t even get to set it up yet. Because just THIS PAST WEEK ALONE, I went on THREE friend dates – this excludes the one where I invited friend M over. They were ALL impromptu. My love tank is just sooooo full at the moment.
I think if it makes you more comfortable then it matters.
I don’t mind it at all. I was 15 and I had a fruend who was 50. I have quite a few younger friends too but most of them I picked up out of my brother’s circle and it just developed further from there.
I wouldn’t exclude someone because of their age…but some characteristics do tend to come at a younger age, so I get what you’re saying.
It depends on the maturity level of the person, I think. There are some 40-something year olds who act like 20-year-old BOYS…. we all know them.
I’m a bit ageist too – I never really think of a person as having proper friend potential unless they’re within 10 years on either side of me. That’s a good yardstick, right?
Hmmm, my youngest would be blog friends mainly (Mandy’s about 28) but I am quite friendly with D, a clever young girl at work. She is more mature than 26 though and has a deep love of travel like I do, so that’s our connection. My oldest friend is probably our 3 am friends. She’s 43 and he’s 50. But SUCH a young 50, he seems younger than she does
I think I have naturally gravitated toward people my age, or older. Older has been quite comfortable for me. My husband is just three years older, and I tend to hang with people more around that age. Not that many younger people at all – one girl at work, but our friendship does not extend beyond work lunches and chats, although our conversations go beyond work stuff.
And I don’t think age matters. Maturity levels differ from person to person regardless of age, and that does have an impact. As does other factors, more so, like values, interests, life stage etc.
Like you I have always had older friends, but these days I’m quite happy to spend time with younger people. When I was at my reunion, one of my classmates was actually on honeymoon – his bride is 15 years younger (still in her 20′s) and she fit right in. I really liked her. My best friend also has some younger friends who have become my friends.
I have older and younger friends….and I love them all. I learn wisdom from the older ones and I love being mentor to the younger ones. More often than not….I learn from the younger friends too.
Seeing that my hubby is 5 years younger than me surely puts me in the “age is no issue” category. But i have to add that being an older mom does force you to get along with the younger ones at school. And some of mynvery dear friends are way in their 50′s.
I have also always mostly had friends who were older than me. I have one or two friends who are younger than me currently. But honestly, age doesn’t really matter for me when it comes to me choosing to be friends with someone. What I look for is do we have a connection and a meeting of minds? Do we have fun? That sort of thing. My oldest friend is 48 – she is fab, a breast cancer survivor and an immense source of inspiration to me. My youngest friend is 11 – my niece. She is a good friend to me and I just love how our friendship is more than me being her aunt and she my niece.
The one thing I will say for friendships in my life is tht in the past 3 years I’ve made a conscious decision to follow and nurture friendships that flow between both parties, and have moved away from those that have drained me or shown me that I am not worth their effort. I would much rather surround myself with people who WANT to share and invest in my life as much as I do theirs.
xxx