To go or not to go

I mentioned in a recent blog post that I wanted to go to the ADHASA conference in Jhb. Things worked out beautifully and I have been BLESSED with accommodation AND sponsorship for the conference fee.

All that I would need to pay for is a flight and a car. I tried to book a flight three times last week and something kept happening. I basically have until the end of tomorrow to make this decision.
The conference happens this weekend on Saturday and Sunday. The issue that I have is that my FIL will most probably be buried at the latest on Friday morning. Not the end of the world and logistically not a big deal, but now I am wondering if I should go.
I spoke with my DH (I am prepared to NOT go and I won’t feel bad about it) and he insists that I should go because life does go on. He told me that he would be OK with the kids and that they would probably spend most of the weekend with his Mom and come home just to sleep. He asked me to please not feel guilty about it and that he understood and would never hold it against me.
I keep wondering how I would have felt if the roles were reversed. Would I be OK if I had just buried my Parent and now have a weekend alone with my kids? I really can’t say. I do know that I am sensible and reasonable and I suspect that I would probably have understood that it was necessary for my partner to go.
What would you do if you were in my situation? Would you stay with your partner and your kids or would you go?
I am planning to fly late on Friday in the afternoon/evening or possibly at the crack of dawn on Saturday which may be better, though it would mean missing about an hour of the conference.
Is it possibly to soon to leave them alone?
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6 thoughts on “To go or not to go

  1. Phew, this is a difficult one. Personally, I think you and he will both be surprised at how much the funeral takes out of him and your MIL. Yes, life goes on, but your family might need you more this weekend, even if it’s only to keep the kids occupied and entertained. This is just my own opinion and in no way prescriptive.

  2. I am with Hanlie on this. We buried my MIL last year, she passed suddenly aswell and my man was okay. But he did need me. MOre than he knew. I cant make up your mind but if you asking my opinion I would stay. Both he and your MiL may still be in mild denial. Things are very busy now and they are distracted, after the funeral everyone goes home and they are alone with the grief and reality. Just my thoughts. xxx

  3. OK i missed this post somehow. I would have said stay. I think that your MIL and DH will need you even though they don’t think they will. And I think you would want to be there for them, just from the little I have learn’t about you over the last couple of months or so.

    And something i keep on meaning to ask – HOW???? do you get the pictures to change everytime I log onto to your blog? How? I am completely puzzled.

    Lots of love xx

  4. I also missed this post but I would say stay. I was totally drained after my granny died; I can’t even imagine if D hadn’t been there for me… and I didn’t even have kids then.

    Do you feel better now that you’ve made the decision?

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