I have mentioned before that I heart Google and that he (not sure why Google can’t be a girl) is my BFF. I have to be on it a lot of the time and I cannot bear to miss out. I crave media. I crave contact. I crave all the bright lights that go along with having a Google addiction. I literally become antsy if I haven’t been on for a while.
Lately my husband has been complaining that I am spending too much time with my BFF. He feels neglected. He would like us to watch a TV Movie and hold hands. He would like us to go for the occasional walk outside. He would like us to hang out – and not just while we are doing chores and seeing to the kids.
He also loves Google but somehow he finds it easier to incorporate it and dismiss it from his life as and when he needs to. He can actually NOT go onto FB for months on end and it’s OK. He checks personal emails twice a day (NOT EVERY 30 minutes like me), he prefers watching the TV News to reading online news.
My sons have also been complaining – in their own little ways. My Toddler starts to cry when he sees me sitting down at my desk and doesn’t give me a moment’s peace when I’m at the computer and my Tween son just walks out. It’s like he knows that he won’t be able to accomplish anything with me now that my BFF is around. Personally, I think that he understands me the best. He gives me my space when I need it.
Don’t get me wrong. I do not neglect my kids in any way. I get home and complete all the cooking, admin, homework assistance, bathing of kids, tidying up (albeit rather haphazardly), put my kids to bed etc. BEFORE I log onto my computer. The problem for them (and for me actually) is that I am not fully present. I am rushing to get things done so that I can go to my BFF.
I spend approximately 4hours every night on the internet. I battle to sleep at night, I am tired in the mornings, my neck and shoulders need a massage, I do not read enough anymore and my husband is sulking. We are actually fighting a lot about my internet usage. BIG RED FLAG.
I have thought about this for most of last week. I cannot go without Google but I DO need to be more fully present. For myself, my sons and for my husband. I guess it is all about balance and this is essentially what I need to find.
I have decided that I am going to be checking FB only once a day. I have selected a few blogs that I will read every day. The rest will be read on the weekends. I will set aside time to be on the computer during the week. I am going to first post on my blog before commenting on other blogs. I don’t want to be on for more than one hour (this is a huge jump from 4 hours). I’m not giving up Twitter though. I’ve just started it and I love it. And I can get into bed and read my book while I tweet.
On Thursday last week I realised that I had exceeded my cap (I operate on 5GB btw…it hasn’t been enough for months and I’m always having to top up). I made a decision NOT to top up.
I really battled for the first few hours of having no internet access at home. I hate using the internet on my mobile. It was like I didn’t know what to do with myself. Then I took a few deep breaths and it was fine. I had to talk myself through it a bit but not for long.
This past weekend I read a book. FOR REAL
This past weekend I took my time preparing healthy meals and they turned out beautifully – my food usually burns while I am scanning and commenting on FB and Tweeting.
This past weekend I cleaned my house. PROPERLY.
This past weekend my DH and I went for a walk.
This past weekend I took my son on a play date and went for a FREE Kundalini yoga class. (I am not a fan of Kundalini btw and won’t be going back to that particular discipline anytime soon). When I went to fetch my son, his friends Mom and I chatted for another half hour before we left. Was so nice to have a totally enjoyable impromptu chat without worrying that I need to check my emails.
This past weekend my DH and I watched series. What do you think about Dexter? Not the cartoon, the serial killer. I must admit to being simultaneously fascinated and creeped out by him at the same time.
This past weekend my kids came to lay in my bed and I read to them for the first time in ages. My Tween and I alternated pages reading to my Toddler. We read Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. My Toddler eventually got bored and walked off, my Tween and I continued to read to one another. I loved it! I wish I had read Roald Dahl when I was younger.
This past weekend I HAD A NAP. It was glorious.
This past weekend, my DH and I reconnected.
This past weekend I was present. And I loved it. And I definitely want me some more of that.