Friendship Friday on a Saturday: I finally love the Moms!

I have never been the type to socialise with other Moms and IF it does occasionally happen then I am  VERY specific about the type of Mom that I socialise with. It’s usually the Mom who ALSO has a neuro-atypical needs kid and who totally gets it.

Socialising with Moms with neuro-typical/regular kids becomes difficult when your kid has issues and when YOU as the parent need to deal with your issues about the issues. You are so aware of the differences between your child with the issues and regular neuro-typical kids. You think that EVERYONE can see all the milestones that haven’t been reached. You feel like everyone is staring and you assume that everyone is talking about your kid and his issues. You start to compare and it just hurts too much.  So you stay away.

I do realise that I am guilty of projecting and of imagining that they ALL have something negative to say about my kid, so for a few years, we (I) declined all the party invitations and we basically just said “Hi and Bye” in the parking area.

Until this year.  Son2 changed and he’s really come into his own. He started to become more social and with a fair bit of help from some of the adults in his life, he actually made a friend or three! He can even have a little bit of a conversation now. Occasionally he plays alongside other kids. Other times he engages with them directly. It’s not perfect, but he’s really trying and is doing soooooo well.

Also.  I changed. It’s been a long, long, long time coming but I’m finally OK with his stuff. I embrace it. It’s who he is. It’s what I LOVE about him.  While I was stressing and being angry and self-conscious and fighting all and sundry, the healing was taking place from within.

Point is, Son2 FORCED me to accept the party invites.  We went to the parties. I was forced to get over my stuff and I started to actually engage with the Moms.  In the process, I found that they are actually really cool and regular people, and the biggest bonus of all?  I made some DIVINE  new friends.

I made friends with other Moms who LOVE my son and even tell me stories about the quirkiness that I might have missed out on.  They have completely accepted him for who he is – no questions asked, and I didn’t even have to fight for this and advocate it for him. They basically ADORE him and have become my eyes and ears in my absence.  When there are school functions and outings that I can’t attend, then they send me pictures of him. I LOVE this and of course I do the same for them!  They have become an AMAZING support network.  We all commiserate late into the night and whatsapp ALL THE THINGS.  Do you have ANY idea how that makes me feel?  It feels like I belong and I kind of want to cry when I think about it. From happiness of course! We get invited to the occasional play date now and then we go!

Me being friends with the Moms from my sons school adds a whole new dimension into my life.  It makes me feel like I DO have boring and normal.  I think that I mentioned in an old post that Motherhood has made me feel lonely? Well, I no longer feel lonely and I no longer feel like I’m somehow sticking out like a sore thumb.

If anyone had told me one year ago that I would be friends with the school Moms, I would have LAUGHED! Seriously. Who would have thought?

Do you socialise with the school Moms? Or do you avoid them like the plague the way I used to?

The picture that speaks a thousand words

So today’s post was going to be a bit of a vent about how EXPENSIVE it is to have a neuro-atypical child.

This past Tuesday, my husband and I went to check out an AMAZING school for Son2. I had no plans to move him but an opportunity just kind of arose and it just felt like a God-send.

BUT. No matter how awesome the school will be for him, he’s not going.

Because we, his parents, simply cannot afford it, even if we REALLY push and scrimp and sacrifice.  When my husband and I (and Son2) left the school the other day I cried all the way home out of pure frustration. I had a headache when I was done with all those tears – I think they were waiting to come out for a few months now!

Anyway.  It is what it is and life goes on. Luckily his current school is FANTASTIC, even though that other school is better and I guess we will (for the moment) stick to what is working and working well.

I had a wrap-up meeting with our OT who’s leaving at the end of this year. Cue MORE TEARS because she was THE BEST OT EVER!  There are others who need her more and they are going to THRIVE which does actually makes me happy.

During our meeting, she gave me these two pictures:

.

The one on the left is a pic that Son2 drew in April. The one on the right, is a pic that he drew last month. He told her that it’s a picture of his Mommy with long hair. Do you have ANY idea how moved and flattered I am by that?

I look at the comparison between these two pictures and I am struck that there are so many life lessons in there.

The basic stuff comes to mind. Things like always persevering. Never losing focus. Keeping at it, because things do come together eventually. Things like practice making perfection.  The fact  that perfection is ultimately a subjective thing – because every single thing about BOTH these pictures are perfect to me.

The concept of “normal” being a subjective one.   Also the fact that adding colour just makes things sooooo much nicer and adds a whole new dimension of “happy” to a situation.

I went to the shop today to buy two frames. I am going to mount these pictures, because I want to remember this moment FOREVER and I ALWAYS want to be reminded of what these pictures represents. It tells me that my son is AMAZING. It tells me that despite us not being able to afford this expensive school, he’s going to be OK. We are doing our VERY best and that is good enough. Actually better.

I look at the comparison between these pictures and I want to cry every single time. Mostly for him. For all the progress that he’s made (I agree with his OT that he’s a DIFFERENT child to the one he was at the beginning of the year) and for all that he’s had to master.

I know that some of your kids have been drawing properly since coming out of the womb but other kids REALLY battle with a basic image. This is something that Son2 should have been able to do when he was 4 already!

As adults we take it for granted, but do you have ANY idea what goes into drawing a basic picture like this? All the planning involved? All the centres in the brain that have to work together to produce it? All the work that his OT had to do with him to unlock and develop and nurture those centres in his brain in order for him to get to the point where he (a good 3 years after the milestone deadline) where he can actually do this? I marvel at his progress. And I can’t stop wondering what on earth is going on in his brain.

The happenings in his brain is currently the BIGGEST mystery to me and I would pay GOOD money to truly understand even a little bit of what’s happening in there. BUT. For now, I will wait for surprises like this, because truly, there is just NOTHING more thrilling than seeing evidence of  progress sommer just like that in-your-face.

Does your children’s art also make you think a lot?  Are you framing their artwork? What are you doing with the most memorable pieces? And when last did you cry so you have a massive headache afterwards? 

Load-shedding. Pffft

I don’t really have issues with load- shedding.  I get that this is the modern world and that even with all the technology, the sh&t is going to hit the fan at some point. I understand that the current demand exceeds the available supply. And yes, I realise that our government has not made provision for the demand.

I am not too fussed when it does happen because perspective and all that. I realise that there are people in this country who have NEVER had electricity and who survive every single day, and I realise that things could have been soooooo much worse for my family and I. So, I have changed my attitude towards the whole thing and  since then, it’s been fine.

Load- shedding doesn’t happen that often in CT (it’s only really just started up recently), so I suppose I might be singing a VERY different tune if it was a regular occurrence.

For now though, I’m accepting it and embracing it.

I enjoy that it brings some much-needed silence to my home. I love being able to have a conversation without the background hum and I do enjoy watching my kids find other ways to do something.  It forces them to be creative and to think out of the box.

Son2 does go a bit nuts when it happens  ( I DO NOT enjoy this bit) because he thinks that WE are breaking something and screams at us to FIX IT RIGHT NOW and no matter how much we try to explain it, he just doesn’t get it. Anyway. He’ll eventually come around.  I hope!

I find that it does help to be prepared for it, so I now have a load shedding kit.

Seriously. I have an actual box of stuff that I access when it happens – we mostly access our load-shedding kit when we have power outages at night.

My load -shedding kit  has a lighter (because the smoker in my home can never find his one when the lights go out), two portable lamps,  3 torches, spare batteries, gift cards (with money on) from Woollies (because there is NOTHING nicer than a warm rotisserie chicken and salad AND pudding eaten by candlelight with the kids if you don’t feel like making a fire etc) and of course I keep a few basic candles. I DO end up burning all my good candles too! I also keep a pack of cards in there and some stationery and notebooks because hunting for stuff in the dark is just a pain!

I also find that it helps to be as organised as possible.  This is how I try to remain organised:

  1. At all times, I charge the devices at work and I expect my DH and Son1 to do the same with their devices – there’s nothing more soul-destroying during load -shedding than a kindle with a flat battery!  I invested in a car charger as well so that we don’t have issues with the phones after hours.
  2. I work around the schedule. The CT one seems to be accurate which makes a HUGE difference. So I basically work in my house like mad while the electricity is on. I cook, I boil kettles of water for the flask, I do laundry, I do stuff that needs to be done on the computer and ALL the devices get plugged in so they can charge. I also unplug (like from the wall) everything that is not in use – I would actually like my things to last.
  3. I make sure that there’s always enough wood and firelighters just in case we decide to braai or make a potjie or something.
  4. I pretend that we are going to wake up to no power, which means that EVERYTHING must at night while there is electricity. Clothing must be ironed and ready, bags must be packed, lunches must be sorted.  Basically, we can’t be in a position where things fall apart in the morning if there’s load-shedding because starting the day without electricity is just AWFUL..

I was thinking this past weekend that I need to invest in a basic battery-operated radio so we can get our dance on now and again. And I was also thinking that I need to be changing up the paper and crayons to something slightly more exciting for whoever wants to craft by candle light. This is what I’m working on right now.

I suppose I could also invest in a generator or appliances that use gas, but I haven’t found it to be necessary as yet. What we are doing right now is working fine for us. And for the moment, we’ll have to make do and embrace this business.  It is what it is and by the looks of it, it’s here to stay.

Are you coping with power outages? Do you have any survival tips to share?

Because. Priorities.

I was responding to a Mom on twitter yesterday who mentioned that she didn’t even have a Christmas tree up yet!

Fact is, neither do I. There are also no advent calendars here – I stopped that two years ago because it was fueling my anxiety and really, my kids didn’t particularly care!  There is not a stitch of decor up here either but there are two VERY tired and strung out adults AND two VERY tired and strung-out kids.

Basically, school needs to shut down so I can breathe and think.

So far I have done these things: 

Organised, paid for and collected new stationery and uniform items for 2015 for BOTH kids. Because priorities.

Made an appointment at a school that Son2 can possibly attend in the future. Because. Priorities.

Scheduled final appointments with the therapists. Because. Priorites.

Purchased a green card. Because priorities.

Planned my outfit AND my nails for my staff function next week. Have booked a pedi too! Because priorities.

Put out feelers for a leave-in hair product for after-swim sessions. I have a friend who experiments with ALL the products and then recommends or tells me if the product will work for my hair. Because priorities.

Booked Gynae Appt. I have had 3 appointments this year. I bailed on ALL OF THEM. This time I am really going. Because. Priorities.

Stocked up on wine. Because Priorities.

Made LOTS of lists. Because. Priorities. One has to start somewhere.

Did some online shopping. See previous point. Because. Priorities. And because online shopping is always fun!

Teacher gifts and cards( must finalise this weekend). Because school closes next week and I am besides myself with excitement!!

And this is what I’ve been doing just for fun: 

Reading. A lot.

Sleeping. A lot.

Being fairly lazy and sloth-like over the weekends.

Knitting a little bit.

So yes. I am WAY past spreading myself too thin during this time and adopting the “let’s all socialise at once” thing. I don’t even really friend date during the festive season, unless you’re visiting me from FAR. I do have one friend date scheduled this weekend and a tentative one for after the public holiday. We’re doing carols with the kids on the 16th. I think we may as well put up our tree on that day too! I suspect we may do a day of crafting but nothing’s set in stone yet. We’ll see how it goes.

And then for the rest of the season, we’re swimming. We’re relaxing. We’re taking walks. And photographs. We’re catching up on naps. We’re trying NOT to overeat and we are remembering the reason for the season WITHOUT ALL THE STUFF.

I asked each kid to list two things that they REALLY want to do this holiday. Son1 wants alone time with his Dad and I  – he wants us to go and see a movie together and he wants us to go on those super tube things at Muizenberg Pools.  I absolutely think that we can make a day of Son1 time.  Son2 wants to ride horses AND see snakes!!!!!! I am delegating the snakes thing to my DH.

And you? What are your priorities during this time? How’s it going with you?

I go on leave next Friday. Ten more sleeps!

Do you offer your seat?

My DH and I decided that in 2015 Son1 could use public transport to go home in the afternoons.  This is a BIG deal for me – it’s all part of  letting go and trusting him.  I have documented on this blog what a control freak/tiger I am when it comes to him and now I am moving on from that.

I have officially taken a (BIG) step back where he’s concerned, because at some point he needs to learn consequences. It was not as hard as I thought it would be – maybe I just needed to be ready. I just hope and pray that it doesn’t backfire on me because THAT will annoy me tremendously.

But. I digress. These past few days, I have been practicing with him how to use the train. So we walk to the station, buy a train ticket (I had to teach him the exact words that need to be used), get onto the train, complete the journey, disembark, go home.  It’s actually been an interesting experience. He has so many questions that I am finding hard to answer. Things like where the whole metro/metroplus (formerly 1st and 3rd class) comes from, why I am insisting on certain (safety) things, who decides which stations the express train stops at and why. And and and.

There is one thing that I am struggling with a bit. Train etiquette. Or rather, certain aspects of train etiquette. For example, should he give his seat to a woman at all times.

To be honest, I am feeling a bit conflicted about this. Where I come from, you ALWAYS offer your seat to an older person, especially if it’s a woman. ALWAYS. It’s good manners and it’s the right thing to do.

However, the feminist in me says that we are ALL equal. We ALL pay for our seats and that seating works on a first come first served basis. If you get a seat, fine. If you don’t get a seat, that’s fine too – you can stand – you won’t die and it’s really not the end of the world or anything.  The feminist in me says that you ONLY offer your seat under exceptional circumstances e.g. to a pregnant woman or to someone who is VERY old – old as in elderly – and it could be an elderly male or female. Or maybe to someone who is genuinely struggling with a lot of bags/babies/toddlers etc. or whatever. Point is, I think he needs to use his judgement. BUT he’s not emotionally mature enough to make that call yet, so I need to give him very clear guidelines until he forms his own opinion about what feels right FOR HIM.

So. I need for you to tell me what the right thing would be in this instance. Should my son be offering his (paid for) seat to any person who is older than him especially if it’s a woman? Do you expect to be offered a seat in a public place? Do you feel offended if “youngsters” don’t offer up their seat for you in the train or whatever? Am I (again) over thinking this??

Ps…public transport is VERY expensive and I realise now that I am going to HAVE to  pay my cleaner more money!

#HappySad

So 2014 was the year of double-dip emotions for me.

Nice and not-nice-at-all.  Good and bad. Black and White. Bittersweet.  Happy and sad. All at the same time, ALL THE TIME.  #HappySad.

For example:

There’s a pregnancy announcement (happy) and a friend who quite literally loses the essence of who she is because of emotional abuse in the workplace. (sad). #HappySad

There’s a brand new snuggly  baby being born (happy) and a marriage taking strain (sad). #HappySad

There is an engagement that we’ve ALL been waiting for (happy) and then there is the WORST kind of drama that quite literally splits up a family. (Sad. OK BLOODY AWFUL) #HappySad

There are kids who are THRIVING and doing VERY well and then there are babies who die.  #HappySad

There’s a work promotion (happy) and then there’s cancer (awful) #HappySad

There’s beautiful, miraculous new life (happy) and at the same time there’s darkness and devastation and death and grief (awful) #HappySad

What I have listed here is just some of what has happened in my life this past year, and while I LOVE that  my heart and my love is big enough to accept it all, I find it exhausting to reconcile the #HappySad.

I am by nature a Feeler.  My feelings are complex and intense and deep and it takes a lot of work to constantly make the switch between happy and sad.  I have to work VERY hard to NOT let the sad overwhelm and drown out the happy.

Honestly? I just want the sad to stop. It messes with my brain chemicals (can you say imbalance???), it drains me and it completely skews my perspective.  I get people telling me all the time that I am too sensitive. Do they think that I like being too sensitive? Do they think that maybe they can accept that this is who I am?

Anyway. Such is life. Everything happens in cycles. There’s always going to be bittersweet. And HappySad. I need to learn ways to reconcile the HappySad a bit better.

How do you cope with HappySad? Do you struggle to reconcile the HappySad? Do you find it hard work? Does the sad drown out the happy? Or am I just too sensitive?

What a bummer!

I listen to a lot of music.

I have a very wide musical “palate” so-to-speak, and I can listen to practically ANY genre, even if it’s something that I wouldn’t actually buy.

I do love that Son1 is comfortable enough to share his music with me and that I am actually tolerant enough to listen to what I basically believe is quite rubbish music.

I have noticed a trend for some time now. I call it the BUM TREND, because almost ALL THE SONGS are about booty.

All the artists are either poking fun at bum.

Or praising bum.

Or shaking bum.

Or encouraging the embracing of bum.

Your KimK’s and  your Nicki Minaj’s and your JLo’s have made the bum something cool. Apparently KimK even had surgery to enhance hers.  What is the deal with people using their bums to try and be relevant with their art?

If it’s not Kim flaunting her na.ked  bum then it’s Nicki Minaj grinding and twerking hers while singing “oh my gosh, look at her butt”.  Or it’s Jason Derulo asking you to “wiggle wiggle wiggle” yours. Or it’s Meghan Trainor telling us that she has “junk” in all the right places and that the boys chase her because she’s got the goods. Or it’s JLo and Iggy Azalea singing about everyone getting a taste of their booties.

I’m so over it. And annoyed by it.  I’m annoyed with myself too because I seem to be getting desensitised to it.  The problem is that the songs are sooooo catchy and you (and your kids) can’t help but sing along to it.

The other day I was driving with my Dad and some or other booty-shaking song came on and he immediately changed the station to another one with a DIFFERENT booty song. Gosh, I was mortified. And embarrassed. So very embarrassed for this generation. How has this even become a normal thing?  There are sooooo many BRILLIANT artists who write timeless, amazing, classic songs and then the vulgar bum songs are the ones that remain  in the top 10 for MONTHS at a time!

I must be honest. I would LOVE to have less bum on my body – it’s a  hindrance, and if money was not an issue then I would cut off at least  40% of it. My bum stays put when I lose weight which btw is  super annoying.

I’m  tired of the bum songs and if I’m honest, I have never truly taken to them. Because seriously. Is there really nothing else to write about other than bum? How is it that these artists make all this money singing about bum? How do they even sing about it with a straight face????

Do you think there’s too much bum in the songs? Are you happy with your bum? Are you shaking/twerking/grinding it or fantasising about having some cut away?

I have decided that I’m done now. My kids and I are going back to listening to CDs that I APPROVE fit for listening consumption.  Or we’ll just go back to FMR.

Ps..this is not my first post about modern pop music. I wrote about Katy Perry and her s*xy songs in a previous post. Go look at it over here – FYI…I tried to ignore those lyrics. I then got rid of that CD when I heard Son2 (i.e. my speech delayed son) singing those very offensive, vulgar lyrics – yes, I AM that Mom.  I can write an entire post or three about the fact that whether or not we want to admit it, it’s NEVER “just” a song.  Any type of art communicates with us and changes us and impacts us, and quite frankly I expect A LOT more from my art. But that is a topic for another post.

Pps…I realise that this post makes me sound old. I am old. It’s fine. I’m still tired of bum songs.

 

Let’s try this again: Ten on Tuesday

Hello. How are you?

I am OK. There have been  some ups and downs in the last while but am surviving the end-of-year madness. This is where I’m currently at:

  1. Not a single present or Christmas card has been bought. In fact, I started a list and didn’t finish it. I have now decided that everyone is getting succulents with a handwritten thank you/Christmas card. It’s just easier. I would LOVE for Father Christmas to give a succulent to each of my sons as well but I realise that this simply WILL NOT sit well with them. What a pity! Is your Christmas present and card shopping sorted?
  1. Son1 is writing exams. It’s driving me nuts. It’s driving him nuts too. He’s actually not himself at the moment. A kid at his school died last week and even though they weren’t close friends, it affected him. I think he somehow didn’t realise that it’s not only old people who die.
  1. Son2 is going to start Grade 1 next year. With support. Using a tutor is the BEST decision that I could have made for him. Expensive but sooooo worth it. That said, he’s being rather difficult these days. I think he also has end-of-year-itis.
  1. My DH is working a lot. Which I guess is to be expected this time of the year.
  1. I’ve been stabby and needy and moody and super sensitive even though I’m not PMS’ing. I think it’s the time of year that does this to me. I don’t have a good relationship with this time of the year and ALL my patience flies out of the window.  I think I will feel better once I have a good swim in the ocean. But I’m nervous. Because. Snakes. The experts say that it would not have been dangerous to come into contact with that snake.  I think that they are telling TOO MANY LIES ALREADY!!!
  2. I applied for a nice (actually boring) job at work and never got it. It affected me more than I care to admit.
  1. I was ready to shut this blog down last week. Then two of my friends told me to re-invent it or whatever. I’m playing around with a few ideas for it. If you are clever with WordPress can you please tell me in the comments? I need to do a few things that I can’t figure out. Ps…Louisa I am looking at you.  Also, now that we’re talking about this blog, won’t you please tell me what you want to see here? Do you want a whole lot of words? Do you want adverts and reviews? Do you want more pictures and less words? Am genuinely curious.
  2. My friend gave me a ticket so I can go and see 30 seconds to Mars with him this weekend. I don’t know all of their music (only some) so have been listening to their you-tubes these past few days. I plan to drink a lot of alcohol and do a fair amount of head-banging to relieve my stress. I’m not driving, so I CAN!
  1. I am VERY proud of my festive season social calendar. It’s basically non-existent for the next 2 months, which is EXACTLY how I prefer it this time of the year. As it is, there’s enough stuff going on. How’s your social life at the moment?
  1. Money is causing problems in my life. Old news but still VERY annoying. This is why we’re going to have to forgo a holiday this year and do a staycation instead.  Staycations aren’t really fun if you are in CT in December. The beaches are CROWDED and the traffic is a complete nightmare. That said, I’m planning nice (free) things for us to do and I think it will be fine if we work cleverly around the crowds. Is your holiday booked? Where will you be going?

So. How are you? What’s been happening?  Are you managing to keep it together for this time of year?

Musings. About death.

I went to a funeral a few weeks ago. Have I mentioned how much I HATE funerals?

The person who died was a cousin of a close friend of mine and I went to support her. He was 32 and had been killed in a car accident. I had met him maybe twice in my life, more than  10 years ago.

Anyway. It struck me how much I had in common with this young man.  He was intense and highly creative and an artist in his own right. He lived in his head. He was searching. Always pondering.  WE had exactly the same taste in music.

It also struck me how utterly and completely loved he was by his friends and family. They were shattered and devastated beyond belief.  I went home feeling completely drained, got straight into bed and I stayed there for the rest of the day.  This is one of the WORST things about being a Feeler – I am like a sponge and I absorb EVERYONE’S emotions.

I found that funeral service very beautiful and moving. The sermon too. The priest focused on the theme of readiness and preparedness, not just from a spiritual point of view but also from a practical point of view. It made me think long and hard, which is ALWAYS a good thing.

So, obviously, I have had death on my mind in the last while. In fact, I’ve had death on my mind for a few months now. One of my parents is currently undergoing cancer treatment, so of course there are things that I am afraid to say out loud.

I am trying to become more comfortable just talking about death. Because generally, just the mere mention of it is enough to give me anxiety.  I am actually afraid of death.

My family and I used to be OK with joking about it.  My sister and I ALWAYS laughed and told my Dad that he would NEVER be allowed to remarry and that we would NOT  approve of ANY other woman in the absence of my Mom.  Especially those forward women from the church.   I have found that we no longer joke about it (it’s just too hard) and to be honest, I don’t see us joking about it for a VERY long time.

I think that we all know that death is a natural part of life. But, we struggle with it, because we don’t fully understand it – it’s really just such a strange phenomenon.  First there is life. Then there is no more life. The heart beats. Then it no longer beats.  The lungs fill up with air. And then, nothing. Blood pumps through the body from the heart. Then, there is silence. Darkness.  No more pumping.  It sounds black and white but in real life when you suffer loss then there’s nothing black and white about it.

As someone who believes in God, I know that there is life after death but I am specifically referring to life here on earth.  And truthfully, even if you are spiritually inclined and even if you believe in God, you can still be left confused if someone close to you dies – believing in God and being spiritual doesn’t  exempt you from that. You still question, you still get angry, you still curse and rage at the heavens, you still don’t fully understand the WHY.

So a few weeks ago my DH and I were talking about death, as you do when your name is Julia and you have been over thinking things. I told him that I would NEVER marry again because I have no time to be training up someone new, but that I would be having s*x. Not sure with who exactly. He told me good luck with that and that he would DEFINITELY get married again because having a wife is kind of handy.

I asked him who he thought would cry buckets at my funeral. He mentioned A LOT of names and he asked me if (sarcastically) if he needed to make a spreadsheet for me. Sigh.  I know it sounds terrible to be seeking affirmation in death but I was secretly thrilled at all the names he mentioned! I asked him if he thought I was weird. He said” OBVIOUSLY!”.

I DO love that he indulges the weirdness even if it makes him uncomfortable. And I do love that, even though he doesn’t talk about death, he is happy to talk to me about it if that’s what I need.  In fact, he’s fairly comfortable about it and is very black and white about it – most likely because he has lost a parent.

And you? Are you comfortable talking about death? Does talking about it make you anxious? Does your family joke about it the way my family used to? Do you wonder about how it will happen to you? Do you wonder silly things like who will cry at your funeral?  

First World Problems

I was very unproductive today.

It’s all because of my nails. Last night I removed the BEAUTIFUL “Where’s my chauffeur” from Essie and replaced it with the VILE “Wild Savanna” from Avon.   Btw…I DO choose nail polish (and wine) based on the name. Do you do that?

Thankfully the Wild Savanna was a gift because I would have been LIVID if I had actually bought it for myself. I am passing that gift along to one of my friends.

Here’s a link to Where’s my Chauffeur – I am going to have to buy MORE because I ADORE this colour that was part of a gift set that I got for my birthday.

Anyway. I REALLY hated  the Wild Savanna after I applied it last night.

Here’s Wild Savanna.

Despite hating it,  I left it, because it does sometimes happen that I need to wait a few hours for a colour to grow on me. Well. The Wild Savanna did NOT grow on me. It made me want to VOM.

When I got to work this morning I decided that I would remove it as soon as I got home. Then I tried to work. I could NOT work because I just couldn’t stop looking at this vile greeny poop colour on my nails. I then spent my time designing a piece that I want tattooed on my wrist. And then I contacted the artist to make arrangements for a meetup.

Then I tried to organise flowers for someone in my life who had a hard day. That didn’t work out as planned and I ended up calling her.

After this, I decided that I would go to Clicks ASAP  to get some nail polish remover because I REALLY could not have this colour on my nails for all those hours until home time. Right. So I removed the colour and all was well in my world again.

Alas. It made no difference to my productivity. Because by then I found something else to distract me: TOILET SEATS.

I decided that I would go and buy a new toilet seat after work. So I googled “toilet seats” and let me tell you this, there are MANY toilet seats on the market!  So many options and colours! Who would have thought that there was such a science to the humble toilet seat?

I sent the links to my DH and told him to choose a toilet seat because I was just finding this ridiculous! – you know how I hate having too many options, yes? Btw…he IGNORED my email because apparently he was busy working. Seriously!

At that point,  I decided to write off my productivity for today. So I went onto Essie’s website to choose a new colour. I have my first pedi for the season scheduled tomorrow – am soooo excited!

But then, I was wondering what the etiquette is with pedicured nails.  Are the colours on your hands and feet meant to match? Is there some kind of unwritten rule that I need to know about? Because mine is NOT  going to match. And I’m OK with that. I did find out in the interim that it’s up to you if you want it to match.

Do yours normally match? When last did you have a completely unproductive day? And when last did you just HATE a colour on your nails??

Ps…I would put a picture up. But then I am going to be reminded of this disgusting colour called Wild Savanna. Ugh. Sorry. Not happening.

pps…I realise how LUCKY I am to have first world problems. I know that it makes me sound super shallow but just for today, I am OWNING it. What’s your current first world problem??